Shaking, unsteady, Alixandrea stood up. She did not know what else do to. “My lord, I believe you already know Lady Mena. This is her daughter, Audrey.”
Matthew stared at the little girl as she stood up and gave him a smart curtsy. He still did not speak, clearly unable to. Thewomen sat with bated breath, wondering how he was going to react to the obvious; each and every one of them, in their own way, knew the situation for what it was. But no reaction was immediately forthcoming from Matthew.
After what seemed like an eternity, he pulled off his gloves, dismounted his steed, and vaulted onto the platform. He stood before the ladies, silently towering over them. When he finally did sit down, it was directly in front of Alixandrea. He reached out and took her hand; his grip was clammy and quivering. She held his hand tightly.
It was a pivotal moment. Alixandrea could see what had happened, and all that had happened. Matthew was shaken to the core at what he was confronted with. Perhaps Lady Mena had come to tell him last night at the feast and Matthew, fearing for Alixandrea’s reaction, had chased her away. He never gave her the chance. Perhaps Mark had also been trying to tell him, but he sent his brother away. Matthew said he hadn’t seen her in almost ten years, so he surely could not have known about the daughter he had clearly fathered.
Alixandrea did not know all of the facts or reasons, but one thing was clear; Matthew needed her support, not her distress. She squeezed his hand tightly for strength, for comfort. He responded by squeezing so tightly that he almost broke her fingers.
“Lady Audrey has never seen a tournament before,” Alixandrea said to Matthew. “Surely you are honored that she has chosen to make your match the very first.”
Matthew cleared his throat; even so, his voice was hoarse when he spoke. “Of course,” he said. His eyes were riveted to the child. “Is this your first time to London also, my lady?”
Audrey was, in every sense of the word, an adorable child. She smiled, displaying a shadow of her father’s dimples.
“It is,” she said. “Mother and I came to visit and we saw that Cousin Caroline was here also. Yesterday, we saw a circus with monkeys and dancing horses, and today I am going to see a tournament!”
Matthew looked as if he were going to cry. Alixandrea looked at him, watching his eyes grow moist at the first sound of his child’s voice, and she hastened to lighten the mood for his sake. He was an emotional man as it was and she did not want him to embarrass himself.
“Surely you must come and visit us at the Tower,” she said to Audrey, to Mena. “Where are you staying?”
“In town, with my husband’s sister,” Mena said; she, too, was having a difficult time looking at anything other than Matthew. “She lives a few miles from the Tower.”
“Is your husband here?”
“He has business at the ports.” Mena tore her gaze away from Matthew long enough to look at Alixandrea. “He is a merchant, my lady. Usually he comes to London on buying trips alone, but this time, we begged to come and he agreed. We saw the Wellesbourne army arrive two days ago and I sent word to the Tower to see if Caroline was in residence. Fortunately, she was. I have not seen my cousin in many years, and she has never even met Audrey.”
It explained a great deal. Alixandrea felt no anger, no jealousy, only tremendous pity for her husband and the little girl he never knew. She thought that, perhaps, Matthew needed a private word with Mena. It would seem that much had happened he did not know about, and she had not told him. She was undisturbed at the thought of leaving them alone for a few moments. It was the right thing to do. Abruptly, she stood up.
“Audrey, do you like custard?” she asked.
The little girl nodded. “Aye.”
Alixandrea held out a hand to her. “May I take you to the custard vendor? He is just around the corner. I saw him earlier. I have been dying for sweets all morning. Would you like to come?”
Audrey jumped up eagerly, but rightfully remembered her mother. “Mummy, may I?”
Mena was clearly unsteady, but she nodded. “Not too much, darling. It will give you a belly ache.”
Alixandrea took the little girl’s hand, simultaneously reaching down for Caroline. “You, too, my lady,” she said crisply. “I may want more than one sweet and I will need more hands to carry them. Come along.”
Caroline did not argue. She bolted up from her seat and dutifully followed Alixandrea and Audrey from the lists.
Suddenly alone, Matthew and Mena simply sat there, each one of them not daring to look at the other just yet. It was an odd and painful silence that filled the air between them until Matthew finally shattered the spell.
“My God, Mena,” he breathed. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
She smiled, with irony. “Tell you that I was pregnant when we parted or tell you before now that you had a daughter?”
He did look at her, then. “Both,” he hissed. He reached up and unlatched his helm, pulling it off irritably and setting it at his feet. “You should have told me you carried my child. It was my right to know.”
“Why?” she whispered. “You could not marry me. Your father had already betrothed you to Lady Alixandrea. What good would it have done other than to make you miserable and guilty?”
He could not disagree. “At least I could have taken care of you.”
She smiled sadly, shaking her head. “I did not need to be taken care of. I needed a husband and Audrey needed a father.”
“Iamher father,” Matthew blurted, then caught himself before he could say too much. He was bordering on anger and resentment. “You even named her Audrey, after my mother.”
