“Come on, Remi,” he said softly. “Let’s go home.”
She looked at him, her body literally hurting with all of the emotions she was feeling. “I do not want to ride with you.”
He looked at her a moment. “Why not?”
“I just do not,” she whispered. “I would rather ride with Arik.”
He did not move. “Are you angry because the knight is dead?”
It was extremely difficult to control herself. “He came to save us. From you. He thought that all of the things I said at the faire were forced, and that you were actually holding all of us prisoner. He thought he was doing us a favor.” Her emotions, her anger, her hurt were gaining momentum and her lip began to quiver. “He wanted us to go live with him in Knaresborough and he wanted me to be his woman. He knew you were my lover and out of his mouth I heard all of the things you have said to me, sweet lies and cunning plans to make me want you. He said you would tire of me and move on to the next whore.”
Her voice rose to a shrill, shaking tone and he moved forward quickly, grabbing her arms and forcing her to walk with him. She cried and struggled, trying to pull away from him, but his grip was like iron.
“Calm down, angel,” he whispered. The helm came off and went thudding to the ground as he walked. “Walk with me and calm yourself.”
“Let go of me!” She twisted until her arms hurt, but he would not budge. She finally took to crying pitifully and he stopped near the river’s edge, far away from his men, and faced her.
“Do not you know he would say anything to make you believe that he was right in what he did?” he said softly.
She jerked back from him but she did not run away. “I never thought he was right in what he did and I begged him to return us home, but the things he said…they made so much sense. It was as if he could read my mind.”
“What else did he say?” he demanded carefully.
She sniffled loudly and the sobs started fresh. “He told me you were only kind to Dane to gain access to my bed. He said that the gifts, the sweet words, the touching, it was all a lie. He said that I was a whore. And that’s true, I am.”
He shook his head. “I told you I never wanted to hear that word again.”
“It’s true!” she snapped savagely. “I shall never be your wife, Gaston, so what else am I but a whore?”
His eyes glazed with pain, her pain and his. “I will not hear this. You know very well that you mean the world to me.”
She turned away from him, her pain cutting like a knife through her soul. “That may be, but it will never be an honorable relationship. It will be secret and clandestine,” she whirled to him. “I cannot live with the fact that I will never be more than your mistress. I am selfish, I know, but I want everything, Gaston. I want to be your wife; I want to bear heirs to honor you. Do not you realize that if I conceive a child, it will be a bastard? Do you truly want your children to bear that title? It’s as bad as being labeled a whore.” She suddenly sank to her knees, her face in her hands. “I cannot do this to myself, or to you.”
He stood there a long time, staring down at her head. His chest was twisting in agony, painful because all of her words made sense. She was right, and he had been so wrong andso entirely selfish. In the distance, his men were mounted and ready to go and he raised his head from her long enough to give them the hand-signal to retreat. He would catch up with them later; for now, he had a much larger problem on his mind.
When his army was trudging across the field toward the road, he sat heavily opposite her. Pieces of armor came off to better allow him to sit comfortably.
“What would you have me do?” he rasped. “Tell me and I shall do it. Tell me to move heaven and earth for you and I shall do it.”
She shook her head. “There is nothing you can do. I was stupid to have allowed myself to respond to you in the first place. I knew the risks, I knew that two marriages stood in our way, but I allowed myself to love you anyway and that was my gravest mistake.”
“And my greatest triumph,” he responded in a hoarse whisper. “You have allowed me to taste so much in this life that I never knew existed, Remi. I will not let you go.”
She removed her hands from her face and wiped her eyes. “I want you to.”
He was stung by the simple words, feeling pain such as he had never experienced slice through him. He couldn’t let her go. He would sooner kill himself than live without her. He reached out and grabbed her, pulling her roughly against his chest and she let out a yelp of surprise, her eyes meeting his smoky orbs.
“You are mine, Lady Remington. I cannot believe you listened to the foolish words of an idiot and allowed yourself to think for one moment that I was deceiving you, that I would not be faithful to you until I die,” he growled gently, his hands leaving her arms and grasping her face reverently. “Do not you know of my love for you? How can you possibly doubt my sincerity when I have done naught but show you and tell you how much you mean to me?”
Her mouth hung open at the passion of his statement and, as always, she instantly believed him. She could see the naked pain in his eyes and she knew his words to be true. Slowly, her fingers crept onto his armored shoulders.
“I do not want to be your mistress, and I do not want our children to be bastards,” she whispered. “I want us to be a family, to love each other, and I want to bear you ten sons as strong and fine as you are. But I know it cannot be and it must stop.”
“I won’t let you stop,” he put his lips to her forehead, closing his eyes as her scent filled his nose.
She let out a harsh gasp as his lips caressed her, the sudden fire of need filling her. He had the power to render her absolutely senseless and even she knew, in spite of her words, that she could not stay away from him.
“Tell me you were not lying to me,” she whispered desperately.
