“What does that mean?”
“Nothing.” A moment of hesitation. “Sam had told me the first time I met him that I wasn’t your usual type.”
“He did? That asshole has no idea what my type is. Put that out of your mind, sweetheart.” If he was here right now, I’d punch him.
“Okay. But then I saw a photo of Theo and his mom in one of his drawers while I put away laundry. She was so thin?—”
“Don’t.” I pressed my mouth to her shoulder. Breathing her in. “I’m fucking you, not the past.” It bothered me that the past crept into our time together at all.
“How long were you married?” She would not let this go. “Griffin, tell me, please. We haven’t talked about any of this before.”
“Two years. Elsa wanted her career. Runways. Covers. I wanted a family. Our goals weren’t the same.” I swallowed, then shook it off. “I put the past behind me, Jess. You should too.”
“Some things never leave you though.” She traced my jaw with her thumb.
“My father used to say failure wasn’t an option.” The words tasted bitter. I sighed and continued. “It made divorcing my ex that much more painful. Felt like the biggest failure of my life. But Elsa wasn’t ready to start a family. She was a model and had issues trying to maintain her weight. I never knew until she got pregnant, the extent of it. She wouldn’t eat, feared gaining an ounce. Theo was a fighter though, and thrived in the womb,anyway. After she left him with me and a note that said she couldn’t do this anymore, I carried a lot of guilt and shame for getting her pregnant in the first place.”
She lifted her head; her gaze, steady. “That’s a heavy burden to carry.”
“Yeah.” I swallowed. “But Theo was worth it. He’s everything. This time with you lately too, you make me forget the past ever happened.”
Something flickered across her face. A shadow. She hesitated, then whispered, “I know what it’s like to carry too much.”
My brows pulled together. “What do you mean?”
Her eyes glistened with unshed tears. “I grew up broke, Griffin. My mom’s sick. Has been for years since my father— I had to hold it all together for my sisters’ sake, pay rent, take care of her, take care of each other. I’ve always been responsible for everyone. And nobody’s ever really been responsible for me.”
My chest twisted hard. “Jesus, I had no idea of the extent of it.”
Her smile wobbled. “You never asked.”
The words cut deeper than I expected because she was right. I’d been so wrapped up in what I needed from her—help with Theo, distraction from my stress, a better reputation, even sex—that I hadn’t stopped to see the woman in front of me and her needs.
I cupped her face, brushed a tear away with my thumb. “I should’ve asked, I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay,” she whispered, leaning into my touch, stifling a yawn.
“Come on. Enough talk. Let’s get some rest.” I brushed my lips on her temple, and settled us into a spoon position. Her body melded with mine, warm and supple, and it was everythingright now, especially after unloading things from my past I never expected to share.
We connected on a deeper level, and I should be scared of it, running into the other room, remembering how much I vowed to avoid another relationship. But I stayed, holding onto the fear anyway. Holding onto her. Only because I was too tied to get up, which was a lie.
“This has been the best birthday ever. Thank you.”
“You deserve it.”
Did I?
She drifted off, and I watched with my arm around her, and let myself, for one reckless night, hold something more than I deserved.
Chapter Nineteen
RUMORS
Griffin
All of ourfriends from Holly Creek gathered at the penthouse before the West Games Benefit. Sophie and Keaton arrived first; Sophie swept Jessa into a hug like they’d been best friends for years. Through Sophie, all of her people had become mine—her family and friends, her world—and they’d welcomed me without hesitation.
It was a strange, perfect mix of old money and small towns, like Rex and Richard with their wives, Chelsea and Vivian. Maisy Calhoun walked in with her architect-turned-professor husband, Brooks, both polished and unflappable. His twin, Archer, hovered close to his very-pregnant wife, Penny, eyes never leaving her.
