I let my head rest against the top of the sofa and sighed.
“Maybe it’s called,” Dreu lifted his hand and snapped his fingers next to his temple. “The universe aligned y’all…that’s whatwomen be saying though. I don’t know how true that is.” He chuckled.
I couldn’t help but chuckle right along with him. It was something with Truly. No matter how much I tried to place her as a good lay, I disagreed. I wanted more time with her beyond the sex. I could barely focus this week at work because all I kept seeing was her face. I ain’t never missed a woman before. I found myself in denial about missing Truly.
It all felt too soon and far-fetched that I would miss her even though I talked to her ass every night until she tapped out to go to sleep.
Sunday couldn’t come fast enough.
Fourteen
TRULY
I could literally hearmy heartbeat in my ears; I was beyond nervous, I felt jittery all over.
I stood in front of my mirror, smoothing the silk of my dress for what had to be the hundredth time. It clung mid-thigh soft against my skin. I felt a little self-conscious with the way my stomach stuck out a little too far but still felt sexy in a sense.
Bleu had a pale blue dress along with lace undergarments delivered this morning in a black box with his name embossed on top. The man didn’t have to tell me that the color blue was his favorite color, it showed without any hidden clues.
I tried my hardest to pull away from him and now I found myself looking forward to his calls every evening. It showed me that he was interested in getting to know me and that he was willing to take the time to do so.
Bleu showed me a different side of who I assumed he would be like if I even entertained him. He didn’t make our conversations all about him. I even paid attention to the way he softened his deep voice whenever I let him say a few words to Lo Lo. In hismind, her name wasn’t Lolani, it was Princess, and I thought that was cute.
Still, I remained on guard. It was just hard to ignore how he was a breath of fresh air compared to what I had been feeling since Lolani was born with Aubry. Speaking of Aubry, after Bleu left my front porch a week ago. I lied to Aubry and told him that Bleu and I were not going to be anything more than friends.
He gave me hell about it until my dad told him to get out of his house. It was clear to me that Aubry had something mental going on. One day he was texting me expressing how sorry he was. The next, he accused me of being a hoe while having our daughter. Through all the bullshit with Aubry, he and I came to an agreement.
That agreement allowed me to sleep good at night. He agreed to co-parent with me. We planned on taking turns with Lolani. I second guessed it at first, thinking it was another one of his sick games. Until he explained how much Ashley helped him with Lo Lo and now that they were going to divorce, he needed me more hands on with Lo which wasn’t going to be a problem.
This is what I had been wanting, to be a mother to Lolani without all the restrictions of limited time. In my mind, my personal life didn’t concern Aubry. So, if I had to lie to keep his overbearing ass off of my neck, I would.
Bleu already understood that my daughter was my number one focus. My main goal was to save up enough money to get my own place to live in. Besides, I was out growing living here with my parents and siblings. I had no privacy although I had my own room to dwell in.
What also made me want to give Bleu a chance at an intimate friendship was when I had been on facetime with him late at night in the kitchen. I explained to him how making teas brought me peace and had been therapeutic for me.
That night he watched me intently blend herbs; I became so fixated on watching the steam rise. It was amazing how seeing the swirls of color blend together beautifully along with his deep voice talking to me grounded me. I added Chamomile and lavender for calmness and Hibiscus for strength. I explained to Bleu that the blend I was working on was especially for my mom.
Although she was hard on me, I felt her love still. I realized that besides being a wife and raising three girls her passion was caring for people. She was an empath, so a lot of nights my mom came home with a heavy heart and mind. I wanted to create something that would relax her and not have her so much on edge.
Bleu asked for me to make some for his mom as well and from there we fell into a deeper conversation about each other’s up bringing. By the time I finished making the tea, he started to ask more questions about who my wholesale supplier was, and the breakdown price for everything that I bought. He showed his interest by asking which herbs worked best together and how what would my dream tea shop look if I ever opened one.
He got me to dream big that night. Bleu told me that he planned on gifting me something big with no strings attached that would change my life. By no means did I feel guilty by accepting any gifts from a man that I entertained. For one, my mom taught us that a man is supposed to be a man. That included opening and closing doors for us. Treating us like queens. Her favorite line was…
“You can be independent by choice! But if there is a man in your life, and you giving him the goods. You better not ever look to anyone for help but the man you opening your legs to!”
I wasn’t trying to act like the FMC that I read about in books. They always turned the man down because they wanted to proclaim that they weren’t after a man’s money. Or they would be so independent and mad when a man offered something to them, they would turn it down and make things complicated.
It wasn’t tricking if the man had it! So, if a man who is kind enough to spend money and treat me to nice things. By all means I was going to let it happen.
If I ever got into another relationship with a man, I wanted a soft life. I wanted someone that would be willing to support me without expecting me to be perfect. Of course, they would have to accept my daughter because we were a packaged deal.
I wasn’t trying to portray myself as something that I didn’t even recognize. I kept it real with Bleu, and I appreciated him doing the same.
My hands trembled slightly as I adjusted my pixie curls that were now slicked to perfection. I hadn’t dyed my hair back to my favorite bright pink color yet. Tonight, it was copper brown with small streaks of blonde in it. I thought about growing my hair back out. But the short cut fit my face to perfection. I also loved not having to get up and do much to it. I was bald by choice, and it looked damn good on me.
My brown skin glowed, lip gloss shined. A knock at my door made my stomach flip.
“Come in.” I yelled loud enough for whoever to hear me.
