The sting of her words landed because it was true. I felt heat crawl up my skin as I dropped my eyes to the cold marble floor beneath my bare feet.
“I’m trying, Ma,” I muttered as I reached for one of the boxes.
I cradled it against me like it would defend me but the look in momma’s eyes told me that she was truly fed up with me.Please don’t give up on me, something is going to take off soon, ma.I pleaded with her in my head.
“Trying? Girl, your father out here defending celebrities in court, I’m cutting people open in the OR daily! And you—” She pointed to me like I was a stranger, and in seconds she made me feel like I was nothing but a burden on the both of them. “You still playing around like a fucking kid. I keep telling you, you need to grow the fuck up. You got a daughter, that we barely get to see until the weekends. You a mother with no substance, no secure future…It’s getting ridiculous at this point.” She shook her head at me.
I opened my mouth to defend myself but a knock at the front door came. Whoever it was knocked like they were the damn police, three times which made my heart pound and then it dawned on me who it could be. Only one person knocked like that, and I didn’t have the time to deal with his shit either today.
Aubry…
My high school sweetheart, the man that broke my fucking heart. Aubry was my ongoing living nightmare and my weakness wrapped in one tall, dangerous package. Handsome as sin, with a clean beard, broad shoulders in a tailored damn jacket. I couldalready picture the smug smirk plastered on his face soon as I came into contact with him.
“Gone and answer the damn door, I already told you if he ain’t coming here with my G-baby he don’t need to be popping up at all.” My momma yelled her words loud enough for Aubry to hear her through the door.
She stomped away from me and my boxes and went to plop down on the couch. She made it clear that there wouldn’t be any privacy with this visit. I sighed then took in a deep breath. I was nervous as hell because this visit could easily go left. I sat the box down, then quickly turned to the door not wanting for him to bang on the door three more times. Soon as I opened it his brown eyes cut straight into me like he owned me…Maybe he did to a certain degree.
“Truly,” he drawled, stepping all into my personal space.
His cologne drifted past my nose and into my lungs tangled with memories that I hated myself for holding onto.
“We need to talk.” He stated flatly. He looked past me and frowned in my mom’s direction.
“Alone, of course.” He continued.
I gripped the door tighter; my stomach twisted into knots from the mere thought of being alone with him.
“About what, Aubry?” I asked ready to get it over with.
“About nothing. He’s a toxic fool, Truly. He’s married and keep sniffing up behind you! He sure knows how to keep pulling you back into his web of bullshit.” My momma words sliced the moment in half.
She spoke the truth, but the truth had never been enough to save me from Aubry. He leaned in until his lips brushed against the edge of my ear.
“You gone talk to me…or you gone forget you got Lolani waiting to see her momma this weekend?” He gritted out lowly.
There it was, a promise and threat in disguise. He said the words low as hell so only I could hear them. My heart stopped, and my throat locked up. This was the chain he always yanked on between us because he knew for my baby girl Lolani, I would never break the chain.
“We can talk Aubry. Can you give me just a minute first?” I tried at buying time.
“Nah, I want to talk now…In my car.” He smirked at me sinisterly.
He walked away from me confidently; I stood with tears ready to drop. I roughly backhanded my eyes ridding the moistness from them. I stepped back inside of my house, only to slide my feet into my hot pink Nike sandals that I kept at the front door.
“Truly Monae Jackson, you better not go after him. You can’t be that dumb, baby girl. This is why it’s hard for you to get over him!” My momma’s voice sounded off from behind me.
I told Aubry three months ago that I was done being at his disposal. All he ever did was play with my emotions and crush my feelings over and over. I wanted to turn around and look at my mom, I thought about how comforting it would have felt to fall in her arms and just feel her hold me. I couldn’t, I was done making my problems belong to my parents’.
“I’ll be back, Ma.” I said somberly.
Before she could say anything back to me, I closed the door behind me. I looked down the pathway and took in a deep breath before stepping off the porch. Aubry opened the passenger door for me like the fake gentleman he always displayed himself as being. His new big body Benz had tinted windows along with nice rims which only showcased that his job as a software engineer was paying off nicely.
Aubry worked at one of the biggest tech companies in southern California. He made sure to rub that knowledge in anyone’s face that he felt was beneath him. Besides the good job that he had, he was still a hood dude at heart. Soon as I climbed into the front seat of his car, the smell of new leather seats mixed with his cologne traveled up my nose.
Aubry walked around the front of his car and got inside. His hand found my thigh before he started the car.
“You look good as fuck, baby. I been thinking about you like crazy, why haven’t you responded back to my text messages?” His voice was calm for now.
I bit into my bottom lip, feeling a swirl of emotions hit me at once. I hated how emotional Aubry made me feel. His touch and compliments still did something to me when it shouldn’t have. I hated sounding like a nagging side piece when it was never supposed to be this way from jump. So, I tried my very best to keep my complaints down to a minimum whenever I was in his presence.
