Raffe was everywhere. At most of her meals. Sneaking up on her in the library. Waiting for her in the garden. He showed great concern when that woman almost took her from the party and even though they’d made a pact to keep things cordial between them, he’d become too comfortable. Moving about the Citadel like it was already his. Conversing with her parents at such ease she wondered if he forgot they were royalty.
“How is Nev?” Kamari stood and slid into her gown; the violet gauze lightweight in the blooming heat.
“She’s…” Hanna’s fingers paused on the buttons at Kamari’s back. “She’s okay.”
Nev found Kamari, took that woman into custody, and then swiftly found her way to the temple where she exacted her punishment for failing her post. The thick bands of red across her knuckles proved how severe the Order took failure and whenever Kamari caught a glimpse of the knight, the words “I’m sorry”gathered on her tongue, but before she could say them Nev walked away or spoke first or Kamari had a meeting to run off to.
The timing was never right but she needed to say it, should say it, because it was her fault for leaving the party. For not telling Nev where she was.
“Is she on patrol at the wall?” Kamari plucked a pair of jade earrings from the bowl on her vanity and put them on.
“Yes.” Hanna busied herself about the room. Tidying and propping up pillows. “She’s finally stopped physically punishing herself but I think inside she can’t get over the fact that she failed you. Twice. She hasn’t laughed in days.”
“I can hardly recall her ever laughing at all,” Kamari said with a thin smile, hoping to break some of the tension rising in the room.
“She did.” Hanna’s eyes met hers through the mirror. Her normally joyous face was stern. Unrecognizable. “Only now she’s so guarded and I don’t know how to help her.” She frowned, her full lips hiding a quiver.
The words begged to spill out of Kamari again.This is my fault, she wanted to say. Not just because she hid from Nev at the party but because when the woman took her, she didn’t fight.
Not at first, anyway.
There was a fleeting moment when she was dragged down the hallway that maybe this was for the best. To be stolen away from her responsibilities. Forget Naming Day and the treaty and her missing husband. Let the sand drown out her demons.
“If I’m being honest everyone seems different now.” Hanna smiled tightly, her bright eyes anchoring on the floor.
“Fear always heightens close to Naming Day,” Kamari said. She squeezed Hanna’s arm, hoping to offer some comfort. “Once it’s over, I’m sure everyone and everything will be back to normal.” The lie stuck to the back of her throat as she made her way out of the room.
The dining hall was dripping in warmth from the massive windows that framed the room. The long table was already set and the king and queen of Novaria were in their places when Kamari arrived.
“Daughter.” Her mother’s smile warmed her otherwise stoic face and Kamari forced herself to smile back. The double doors to her right swung open and by the heavy footfalls she had come to recognize, she didn’t need to turn to know it was Raffe who joined them.
“You’re looking lovely, Your Majesty.” He reached for her hand but Kamari slid it into her lap and offered him a smile instead. Raffe smirked and helped himself to the various plates of fruit and pastries that sat on the table.
“If my math is correct,” Raffe whispered, piling his plate, “there are two weeks left of your little bargain with the council.” He took a bite out of a custard filled pastry, the powdery sugar getting caught in his mustache. Kamari’s stomach roiled. She hid her disgust behind her teacup.
“Have you considered my offer?” He gestured between them and the thought of even pretending to be Raffe’s wife no longer gave her comfort, but instead gave her a bout of nausea.
“Two weeks is a long time,” she whispered, shooting a glance at her parents who were blindly chatting amongst themselves at the opposite end of the table. “I have faith.”
Raffe’s smile widened but he raised his cup of tea in a sort of cheers before turning and discussing Naming Day with her father.
The conversation around Kamari pulsed in and out.
Naming Day.
Astra.
Desmond.
Her kidnappers.
All topics she wished not to discuss, especially with the people around her. The food on her plate made her stomach clench. When was the last time she’d eaten? She pushed it away and focused on her tea. Closing her eyes, the warmth of the sun settled on her cheeks and the tension in her shoulders relaxed.
“Isn’t that right, Your Majesty?” Her eyes snapped open. Raffe’s hand was wrapped around her arm so she tugged it free.
“What?”
“That Commander Zeliath won’t be joining us for Naming Day.” Raffe shot her a pained look.
