Scars nicked his lips and nose. The shirt he wore was missing buttons, threadbare holes on either elbow. Desmond cleared his throat and Kamari realized she had been staring.
“You have a lot of questions,” he said, “and I promise, Kamari, I will tell you everything.” He squeezed her hand. “I’m just so relieved you’re here.”
Her fingers warmed from his touch. “I thought you were dead, Desmond. For weeks I thought I’d never see you again.”
The ship jolted to the left, sending her sliding across her seat. Desmond moved across to the bench and pulled her close to his side. “Iwasdead.”
“What do you mean?” She kept her eyes forward, focusing on the wooden planks that lined the walls. The small porthole that for a moment had let in such abrasive light had blotted out, leaving the small cabin murky with diluted light.
A deep sigh rumbled in his chest. “The voices in my head have been with me since I was a child, only growing louder and louder each year I aged. I never listened to them before, always pushed them away. But recently, they have been telling me things.” She moved out of his grip enough to look up at him.
“What kind of things?”
“Things about Ravki. About water andastra. They told me the only way to keep you safe was to leave, to find this place and I know I shouldn’t have gone without you Kamari. I know that now, but I thought I was doing the right thing.”
There it was. What she’d feared and dreaded.
He left you.
She snapped her gaze to him and hoped he could feel the fire burning through her eyes. Through her heart. “Why didn’t you just tell me?”
Desmond shook his head. “I thought I was protecting you. Saving you from whatever was pulling me under.”
“And that was your first mistake, Desmond.” She crossed her arms, narrowed her gaze. “Assuming that if you were being dragged down, I wouldn’t want to be dragged down with you.”
“Kamari.” Her name was broken on his lips.
“What happened when you left?”
Desmond cleared his throat, she could feel his eyes on her as she studied the wall across from them, tried to make out the blurry shapes through the porthole window.
“I didn’t make it far, the voices stopped outside the Citadel. I didn’t have a clear path. I got hung up just outside the Outpost, thought for certain I’d meet the end, and that’s when they saved me.”
“They?”
Desmond’s hand moved over her spine, wrapping her closer into him and her breath hitched. “The rebels.”
Kamari sat straight looking at him again. “The rebels found you and saved you?”
He nodded, his eyes snagging on her mouth. “It’s complicated.”
“It seems we have time.” She waved around the mostly empty cabin.
His lips quirked up. “I missed you so much.”
“Desmond, tell me why the rebels saved you. How they found you.”
He rested his head against the wall and closed his eyes. “The voices in my head were never just in my head, Kamari.” He kept his eyes closed, like he didn’t want to see her face as he spoke. Like he was afraid of how she’d react.
Did she not prove her boundless affection before? Did she not sit with him night after night when he couldn’t sleep? “These”— he opened his eyes and ran his finger over the unusual markings on his forearms—“are not just birthmarks. They’re symbols, linking me to my people. Myactualpeople, not those in Vargah that claim I’m one of them.”
“I don’t understand.”
“Ravkians, Kamari. These runes link me to my ancestors from Ravki. It was their voices I heard. It wasthemwho told me of theastra. Of Ravki. Of the lies that have plagued Vargah. They’ve been waiting for years and years for someone to finallylisten.” When she said nothing, defeat slumped his shoulders. “I still sound mad.”
“I’m just overwhelmed.” She looked around the small cabin. To the porthole filled with darkness. “It’s all so much.” He pinched his eyes shut again and he looked so broken, so lost, that she couldn’t help but slide toward him and wrap her hand around his. His breath hitched, and she knew he felt it too. That lightning connection that had always been instant between them. He took it a step further and wrapped his arms around her again and her body relaxed against his. “And so it’s true?Astragrows in Ravki?”
“When the rebels found me, nursed me back to health, they told me the truth. That a long time ago, Vargah harvestedastraand have been growing it under the city. They keep reservoirs of waterthey siphon directly from the mountains, only refilling them on Naming Day, giving the illusion that the goddess has blessed them. It keeps the people loyal. Hardworking. Scared.”
