But he will live,a voice chimes in my mind.
Yes, he will live, susi.
He’ll rectify all the hurt that’s been done to the Enchantresses.
He’ll prove our loyalty to Mother Gaia.
He’ll end the blight.
He’lllive.
Jarek’s hands roam over my body with tenderness. Searching for a wound he won’t find. The blood continues out of my mouth. My head spins as the treetops turn in on themselves.
Is this what he felt?The panic and the fear and the agonizing pain. My heart lurches thinking of Sorin lying somewhere. Of his life slipping away. Tears spill out of the corner of my eyes, pooling in my ears and stinging my cheeks. I should have been smarter with my terms. I should have found a different way to break the bargain.
I should have…
I should have…
That’s what the end is filled with. All the should haves. All the things you wanted to say but didn’t. All the things you wanted to do, but never made time for. The mind floods you with the faces of all the people you love and the moments with them that have been too short.
Too late.
“Tell him—” Another cough cuts off my words, more tears slide down my cheeks.
“I’ll tell him,” Jarek says. His voice waivers, but his hands are steady as he pushes my hair from my face. The rain has soaked his hair as well and tiny droplets fall from his chin and nose. “I’ll tell him how you love him, even if he is a stubborn arse,” he says through a laugh, but I can tell he’s crying by the choke that comes after.
I wish I could laugh too, because that’s exactly what I would tell Sorin if I had the chance. That I love him, undoubtedly. Thathe is stubborn and loud and absolute perfection in human form. My eyes find Jarek’s, the pinch between his brows settles.
“I’ll tell him how much you love him and how you can’t wait to love him again in the next life.” He continues to stroke my hair, reminding me so much of when my mother would do the same.
Lost in his words, I don’t realize the pain from my body slipping away. The overworking of my heart and lungs now replaced with a light tingling, starting in my legs and traveling up my torso and arms.
“This isn’t the end, susi,” Jarek whispers. “Not for you and Sorin, not for any of it.” A tear slips from his eye as mine slowly roll closed.
I curse at myself. Shout inwardly to keep them open. Keep them on Jarek. Focus on Alaric but they don’t listen. They won’t open.
Why doesn’t it hurt?
Jarek’s hand finds mine, gripping it firmly. But through all the haze, I realize he has something cradled between our palms. Gently, he folds my hand open and with the last bit of strength I have, I manage to crack my eyes. The card is crumpled and stained but the image is clear.
The Queen of Spades.
“To take with you, wherever it is you’re going,” Jarek whispers against my ear.
I try to squeeze tighter to his hand, but I’m so weak that the card lays limply in my palm. Just as my eyes begin to close, there it is again. That small spot of yellow in a dark forest and I realize just before my eyes close, it’s a bird.
A goldfinch.
The one from my dreams.
Darkness overcomes me as my eyes close again. But I’ve never been afraid of the dark, so my body settles into thefamiliarity of it. Then, music, faint and light accompanied by a howl I know so well.
Ruse.
She isn’t far.
Alaric sends a howl back, telling her to hurry. She may be here any moment.
