“I’m sorry.”
“I know,” she says.
“In every moment of your absence, one thought pressed forth more than all the rest.” She tilts her head to the side, and I have to take a large breath to settle the swirling nerves in my stomach. “When I’m king, I’ll need a queen.”
Pink flushes across her cheeks, her freckled nose crinkling slightly with her smile. “Are you asking me something, thief?”
I sit up, bringing her with me so she’s straddling my lap. “Begging, love.”
She parts her lips, making our kiss effortless and smooth.
“Marry me,” I say between kisses. Her lips turn up, smiling against my mouth. “The thought of you by my side, as myqueen…” A shudder runs through me as another vision teeters on the edge of my mind.
She nuzzles her face into the side of my neck.
“There’s no other ending for me.”
“You want me to be your queen. Your wife?”
Heat blooms throughout my chest. All of the small moments we’ve spent together building to something greater. Every lightning filled touch. Every hurdle and heart ache. The memories of our mothers. The visions of our future. There’s nothing I’m surer of than this.
“I want you to be my wife,” I say. “But more than anything, I just want to beyourhusband.”
She pulls back, a wide grin splitting across her face. “Of course I’ll marry you.”
Thirty-Six
Samaria
Gasping,I sit up with a start, clawing at the panic in my chest.
“Sam?” Jarek reaches for me but I push him away. “What is it?”
“Nothing,” I say a bit breathlessly. “Just a nightmare.” One I can’t remember but I’m sure involved flames and Loxley and Jarek. The same repeated images for the last several days.
“Lie down, Sam.” Jarek reaches for me again and this time I don’t push him away. He wraps me in his arms, placing my head against his chest. “Are you finally going to tell me what’s been going on?”
His fingers run down my arms. I close my eyes, honing my focus on the movements of his chest. I want to memorize his heartbeat. The way his lungs expand. The scent of him and his taste.
“Yes,” I whisper.
And so, in the darkness of our room, I do.
I tell Jarek of the pain I feel every time I think of Loxley. I tell him of the brokenness inside of me every time I think of him leaving. I tell him of all the envious feelings I have toward my brother and the ridiculous resentment I feel toward my mother.
I tell him of my magick and seeing my father. Of seeing Elora’s mother. With every admission, little by little, the heaviness in my shoulders begins to lessen.
He strokes my shoulder with his thumb as we lie curled into each other. “I wish you would have told me sooner.”
“So you could pity me?” I smile, attempting some lightness after so many weeks floating in the dark.
He takes my chin and directs my face toward his. “No,” he says. “So I can help you.” His lips meet mine briefly, and my stomach erupts as a swarm of butterflies works their way through me.
“I’ve decided something by the way,” I say.
“Have you?”
I prop myself on my elbow to get a better look at him. His blue eyes are the color of the sea. Not the water closest to the shore but the deepest parts of the ocean. Filled with secrets and life. “I’ve decided that you’re right.”
