“When we got to the mountain that night, we were too late.” Calix faces me again.
My heart races and I ignore the voices rising in my head. They nip and bite at my ears, demanding attention, but I keep my eyes locked on Calix. Forcing myself to look at him. To see him. His face is soft for a lord, not lined in arrogance like Thaddeus. I glance at his hands as they tap against the top of his legs. A nervous habit, perhaps. One that’s much too similar to my own. I bite my inner cheek, distracting myself with the sting and sharp pain.
“The guards had left and the blood…” Calix shudders and my momentary distraction is ripped away. “I have beheld many horrible things in my life, but the memory of your mother fallen upon the snow is an image that haunts me every night.”
So, we have something in common, I want to say.
“I had my men bring her back to the Onyx Guild. Where she was properly laid to rest.”
I close my eyes to fight off tears. The thought of her not buried in the snow, a relief and somehow my heart squeezes thinking of her broken body being carried, buried or burned.
“Then, we searched for you,” Calix says. His hand reaches forward, but I don’t reciprocate so he tucks it back into his lap. “I followed a trail of blood and I both hoped and prayed it wasn’t yours.”
My fingers trace absently over the scar lining my neck.
“You came for me?”
Calix frowns, his mouth turned down. “Of course,” he says as if it is the most obvious thing in the world. “Of course, I came for you and when I didn’t find you, I thought all was lost. Thought you perished in the woods or were taken by the guard.”
He scratches at his jaw again, his fingers trembling as he does. “Then, I heard Thaddeus had locked up his Guild so I did as well. Thinking there was nothing left for me on the other side and that’s where I’ve stayed the last few years. But a few weeks ago, Sorin arrived in Jade.”
He glances at Sorin whose body is rigid beneath his dark shirt. “Word flew to the Onyx Guild of a man who claimed to be the true heir, searching for justice against the new king. And I knew.” Calix smiles, something soft and broken.
I twist in my chair, my throat closing in on me with every word.
“I knew it was you he searched for, Elora.” A loose strand of hair falls in my eye as I shake my head, but Calix continues on anyway, his voice growing distant as I succumb to the voices in my head. “Somehow, I just knew my daughter was alive.”
Thirty-Five
Sorin
“Tell me you’re okay.”I graze Elora’s back with my fingers but she curls tighter onto her side. Her hands are pressed firmly against her ears.
“Elora, look at me.” She doesn’t so I slide closer to her. “We don’t need to talk,” I whisper, “but I need you to remember that I’m here.” I peel her hand from her ear, leaving my fingers tangled in hers.
She pulls my hand tighter to her chest. “It’s all too much.” Her voice breaks at the end and there’s nothing I can say to ease her pain, so I don’t try. “The entire time I kept wondering to myself, what kind of person could leave my mother? She deserved so much more. And yet—” She buries her face into her pillow, muffling her words. “And yet I am selfish because all I can think about now is what a gift it is that he ishere.”
I keep my arms wrapped around her and give a kiss to the back of her head. “You can wish for two things at once. You can wish your mother had better while also wishing to know your father. It doesn’t make either wrong and it certainly doesn’t make you selfish.”
Her breathing stutters, her fingers clawing at my arms so I settle in, committing to this spot for the rest of the night if I need to.
“You don’t have to stay,” she says but I shush her.
“I’d like to see you make me leave.” This earns the faintest of laughs and before long, we both drift off to sleep.
“We should have a party.”Letty and Eviey’s voices marry together as I join the others in the main room of the keep several hours later. It must be the middle of the night, given how dark the inside of the keep is, but by the sounds of Letty and Eviey, they have no plans to rest anytime soon.
Elora is still sound asleep, and while I plan to head right back to my spot by her side, the dryness of my throat forced me to wake.
The large, stone fireplace crackles at the center of the room, a few chairs scattered about it. I spot the kettle and pour myself a cup of tea.
“No parties,” Sam says, shaking her head. Jarek smiles widely, the bruising on his face a slight yellow now.
While the Loxlians and most members of the Jade Guild have been transported to Onyx, the few of us that remain fill a hole in my heart.
Agnes and Letty and Eviey. Sam and Jarek. Elora. If I squint my eyes hard enough, it almost feels like home.
“It’s the least we can do, Sam.” Jarek kisses her and it’s small, but she flinches. “You have your magick!”
