And he? Of what tender emotions was he capable? He had loved his father and mother, been bonded deeply with Geordie. He had loved this woman who now stood here wrapped in hate.
He opened his eyes to find her crouched down beside him. She peered into his face. “Give me the lend of your dirk, Husband,” she requested and reached back a hand. “I would busy myself a while repaying him.”
Stuart extracted his knife from the loop at his hip. “Better to end it, Wife. Until he dies, you do not own the land.”
“I know that very well.” She slanted a look at Stuart. “Only promise me when the time comes he will die by my hand.”
Stuart grunted. “I care not how, so long as he dies.”
“Leave that to me.”
Somewhat to Finnan’s surprise, Stuart went out. Finnan gazed into his sister’s eyes.
“Well, now.” She settled herself on the stones beside him, the dirk in her hands. “Do you know how long I have waited for this? Dreamed of it?”
“Ten years.”
“Aye, since I was fifteen. Fifteen, Brother. That was my age when they took me that night. Would you like to hear a story before you die? Shall I tell you the tale of all that befell me?”
“Much befell both of us.”
“And there speaks my matchless brother, selfish to the bone. Will you think of no one else, even when you stare death in the face?”
Finnan closed his eyes on another wave of despair. “Tell me.”
“They came at me out of the dark whilst I lay sound asleep. Suddenly they were just there, in my chamber, five men. Not Gregor Avrie, no—he and Trent were busy killing Da. But he sent Stuart. ’Twas the first time he touched me, that night.
“They bundled me out of the room so swiftly I barely had time to comprehend what was happening. He covered my mouth so I could not scream. But I could hear mother wailing out there in the courtyard when she discovered Father dead. I thought she would come for me then, and save me. Or you would.”
“I lay asleep, Deirdre, and did not know. It would have been too late, anyway—from what you say, Stuart had already been sent to seize you even before they slew Da. That must have been their plan all the while, to secure you before they came for me. There is no way I could have reached you in time.”
“Perhaps so. Still, you might have caught me up, had you tried. Oh, aye, Brother, I have been over and over it in my mind. Despair does that to a lass. She relives. She even hopes for a while that her brother will rescue her.”
“We searched everywhere for you, as I say. You were nowhere to be found.”
“So you went blithely off and saved your own skin.”
“Nay—”
“Never fear, Brother. Gregor Avrie arriving with a stout troop of hired men did put our household guard to the rout, and you could not best them all that night. I will give you that. But let me ask you this.” She leaned toward him, the dirk balanced in her fingers, her gaze accusing. “After that night, did I cease to exist? Did the thought of me in their hands, awaiting succor, never touch you?”
“To be sure, it did.” Finnan’s throat, tight and dry, almost prohibited speech.
“Yet, somehow, you never returned nor risked yourself for me.”
“I thought you dead like Da. I was but a lad, and buried under the weight of my own pain.”
“Ah, so ’tis all about Finnan—again.”
Finnan searched her face and flinched at what he saw there. “I did inquire after you. For years I did. I asked Da’s friend in Fort William to search out word of you. There was none. I did not know—”
“That I was wife to Stuart Avrie? But I was, from that very night. They dragged me away to a priest, and let Stuart pluck me, too.”
“By all that is holy, I am sorry, Deirdre!”
A curious smile curved her lips. “My husband and I came to terms eventually, just as soon as my anger hardened and it became evident he and I wanted the same thing. He is no’ so bad when you get used to him.” She widened her eyes deliberately. “And a braw man between the blankets once he got me broke in.”
Again Finnan felt his stomach heave. He closed his eyes in an effort to shut the images away, but found he could not.
