Malcolm snorted. “Charles, weren’t you the one who dated that yoga instructor for six months because you thought her chakras were ‘aligned with your energy’?”
“That was different—”
“And the art student who convinced you to get a tattoo?”
“It’s very tasteful,” Charles protested.
“And we mustn’t forget the life coach who had you chanting daily affirmations,” Richard added.
Charles flushed. “I was exploring different perspectives.”
“You were being led around by your—” Malcolm began.
“And then Jane walked into your life,” Darcy interrupted, “and all that exploration came to a rather abrupt halt.”
Charles’s expression softened. “Well, yes. But that rather proves my point, doesn’t it? When you know, you know.”
Malcolm and Richard exchanged glances.
“I’m afraid,” Malcolm said, “that we’re going to have to revoke your bachelor privileges, Charles. You’ve been compromised.”
“Thoroughly compromised,” Richard agreed. “Jane’s got you besotted. Your advice on matters of the heart can no longer be considered objective.”
“That’s not fair,” Charles protested. “If anything, I’m speaking from experience—”
“Exactly.” Malcolm nodded. “You’ve been captured. You’re speaking for the enemy now.”
“The enemy being committed relationships?” Charles asked, amused.
“The enemy being the end of freedom as we know it,” Richard clarified.
Darcy watched this exchange with growing amusement. “And I suppose you two consider yourselves impartial advisors on the subject?”
“Absolutely,” Malcolm said.
“We’re completely objective,” Richard agreed. “Unbiased observers of the romantic battlefield.”
“Because you’re such experts on successful relationships.” Darcy lifted his eyebrows.
“We’re experts on protecting our independence,” Malcolm corrected.
“How’s that working out for you?” Charles asked. He took a slow sip of whisky. “Still spending your Friday nights at the same wine bar, chatting up the same rotating cast of attorneys and political wonks?”
Malcolm shifted uncomfortably. “There’s nothing wrong with consistency.”
“And you, Richard?” Darcy asked. “Still pursuing your policy of never dating anyone longer than six weeks?”
“It’s a sound strategy.” Richard shrugged. “Prevents complications.”
“And perpetuates loneliness,” Charles added.
“I’m not lonely. I have hobbies.”
“Golf doesn’t count as a girlfriend,” Bingley pointed out.
“He has you there, Rich,” Malcolm said with a laugh.
“Says the man whose longest relationship was with his personal trainer,” Richard shot back.
