“Baby, I’m so sorry. I never meant to hurt you like that. I wasn’t trying to make decisions without you. I swear, I’m not trying to control anything. An opportunity came up that would bring me closer to you, and I didn’t want to lose it. I didn’t want to lose you.”
She meets my eyes, and the tears come harder all over again.
“I’m sorry too,” she whispers. “I shouldn’t have lashed out at you. Elaine made me feel so small with her comments, and then you hit me with the move out of nowhere… I just—I panicked.”
Then she kisses me. Feverish. Desperate. Like she’s trying to punish one of us. Maybe both.
When she finally pulls back, her voice is shaky but sure.
“I want you, Donovan. It’s always been you. It’ll always be you. Of course I want you to move to Virginia, but… You do realize my class project runs until December, right? That’s months of still only seeing each other every two weeks.”
“Stella, it’ll be different,” I say, brushing a piece of hair off her cheek. “We’ll be living together. It won’t feel so horrible when you leave, because you’ll be coming back home to me.”
Her expression tightens. “Donovan… I live with Ansel. We have a lease. And honestly, I don’t think we should rush into moving in together.” The devastation hit me like a whirlwind. She doesn’t want me—at least not how I want her.
I am desperate to make up for the time lost with her; it’s been two years now. If she hadn’t been such a stubborn woman, we could be married and on our way to having kids by now.
Stella
Donovan left looking like his tail was tucked between his legs.
I didn’t mean to hurt him, but I had to be honest. This is all too rushed. We just started talking again. He just made us “official” again.
I didn’t tell him not to take the job and move to Virginia—I just told him I can’t move in with him yet.
It wasn’t an easy choice. Of course, I’d love to be the girl who says yes to her hot-as-fuck boyfriend wanting to live together.
Are you kidding me? Mind-blowing orgasms whenever I wanted, sleeping wrapped up in his warm embrace? Sign me the fuck up.
But I had to be realistic. I’m a financially responsible 21-year-old adult. I’m in a lease for another eighteen months, living with my best friend.
I couldn’t just leave her to cover the full rent. I’m not that much of a dick.
Me:Ansel, you’ll probably get this when you wake up, but call me when you can. I have something HUUUUUGE to talk to you about.
I took a quick essentials-only shower, washed my hair and body. It was a wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am situation. After today, I just needed to be clean and under my blankets.
I threw on my pajama set, turned off my lights, pulled back my fluffy comforter, and snuggled in when I heard the buzz of a text.
Ansel:Wait, HUUUUUGE… are you finally gonna show me a pic of Sir O’s-a-lot’s anaconda?
Me:??*eye roll emoji*
My phone started ringing. Incoming video call from Ansel.
For the next forty-five minutes, I gave her the full rundown. My mom’s cryptic chat. Running into Elaine. Then the bomb Donovan dropped on me.
I suddenly heard her choking on the other end. “Babes, are you okay? Do I need to call an ambulance?”
“Bitch, no! I’m fine. Did you just say he’s resigning from his job, making a lateral career move, and moving across the country to be with you, and you told him no? Oh, come on! This is the best romance plot I’ve ever heard!”
She let out a swoony noise, and I could hear the wind from her phone mic.
“Are you fanning yourself?” I asked.
“Girl, this is the hottest tea I’ve had in a while. Yes, I’m fanning myself.”
She giggled, but then her tone shifted.
