“I’ll meet you at the bottom. I want to see this sister of yours before I head out. And I expect you to actually keep up your training. I won’t be back until right before the race, but if I have to pay to have you monitored, I will.Do notthrow this chance at the Olympics away because you can’t get your thoughts andpriorities in order. I will not let you throw away years’ worth of work.”
He was an asshole, but he was one of the best coaches out there. I knew he had my best interests at heart.
I nodded, and swallowed the ball that had lodged itself in my throat.
A lot was riding on this race, and he was right.
I needed to be focused.
A few hours later, I was stowing my gear in the locker The Lodge had provided me. I was exhausted and sore and later than I’d anticipated getting back. I’d ended up staying later than I’d intended, skiing the run until the second rise didn’t feel so precarious. Petyr had left to see Zara, leaving me alone. Now, making my way back to my room I groaned at the thought of a hot shower. I stopped at the front desk asking if they’d be willing to send food up to my room.
“Of course, Mr. Fraiser. Anything in particular?”
“A burger would be fantastic, but whatever is on hand will work just as well.”
“Does 30 minutes sound good to you?”
I nodded and thanked the woman working and resumed my trudge to my room. Every part of my body hurt and I couldn’t wait to climb into a hot shower and then into bed.
Hot water beatdown my back as I braced my hands against the wall. My eyes were squeezed shut as I breathed.
I wasn’t sure how long I’d been standing under the scalding spray but I didn’t care and didn’t want to move. Zara had been passed out in her room when I’d gotten up here. Slipping through the door that linked our rooms, showed her fast asleep,clutching her favorite stuffed animal. I’d brushed her hair off her face, and pressed a kiss to her forehead before shutting the door between us. I would check in with her in the morning.
I reached down and turned off the water, shivering at the goosebumps that prickled my skin at the loss of the heat. Quickly, I toweled off and slipped into a pair of sweatpants, just as a knock sounded. Still toweling off my hair, I opened the door for dinner. I thanked the person and slipped them a tip and shut and locked the door, then inhaling the burger and fries in record time.
I flipped the tv on to some random movie, turned the volume way down and climbed into bed. Reaching over I turned off the bedside lamp and watched the movie until my eyelids grew too heavy to keep open.
I didn’t want to think about what I was trying not to think about—it felt wrong, like a betrayal…that Aimee could cost me absolutely everything.
She occupied so much of my brain, and had for years. And now that she was here, and I could touch her, feel her—hell, just talk to her…I was realizing that I wasn’t as strong as I thought. That if I truly let her into my life, she would be it all, that I would do anything and everything for her, and I feared that would cost me my plans.
Tears burned in my eyes for how unfair it all was.
How was I supposed to keep my distance when I wanted anything but?
How was I supposed to tell her, explain my fears, especially when she was obviously going through something, struggling with her own trauma?
I knew that she would let me go to her own detriment, and that in doing so, she’d absolutely spiral.
I didn’t want any of that. I wanted herandmy career, and I would do whatever I could to hold onto both. But it wasn’t alie to say we’d been too fast, too much, too soon and now it was coming back to bite both of us in the ass. I ran a hand over my face and ignored the wetness leaking from the corner of my eyes.
Tomorrow.
It was a conversation for tomorrow.
CHAPTER 33
aimee
Sun shone down lazily,filtering between the branches and the leaves as Asher led me through the woods. He’d shown up early and dragged me out of bed. He’d dug through my drawers and closet, throwing jeans and a flannel and heavy socks at me.
“You have hiking boots right?”
I groaned, but an hour later, the sun had since broken the horizon and crawled its way into the sky. We were God knows how deep into the forest. Hiking was not my idea of fun, but I was just curious enough to continue to trail along after the boy who had been occupying more and more of my thoughts. He’d hinted at there being a fun surprise in his backpack, and Asher had never lied to me about surprises, so I knew I would like whatever he had in store. But if the surprise ended up being this hike, then I wasn’t sure if I could be held responsible for my actions.
By design, I was not an early riser, was not a morning person—it was a necessity I had to face being a skater. But on the days I could sleep in—the very few, and very far between days—I did. And today was one of those days, and yet it was barely even ten in the morning and I was awake. Hiking.
Awake and hiking.
