She never asked, though I knew she wanted to, and every time I opened my mouth to tell her, I couldn’t find the words. I had been subconsciously fearing the return of the guilt. I had hoped that maybe it wouldn’t resurface, that I’d finally moved past it. But that was a fool's hope.
I was trying to fill my days with as much as possible in the hopes that I would be too exhausted to dream about him, but so far it wasn’t working. I was getting ready to go with my family and Zara, who was as bored without Lukas as I was, to go sledding…or tubing. I couldn’t remember what mom had said. I felt like I was in a daze whenever I wasn’t trying to convince my family that I was happy, hale and whole. But without Lukas around, I felt like tiny little pieces of myself were crumbling away under the guilt and the accusing stare that I seemed to see every time I closed my eyes.
I was pulling on a sweatshirt when my phone buzzed.
Louis Grant
Today 10:15AM
Louis
Hey, so I don't know if Brennan told you, but Nicola decided she wanted to try Soloing.
He also told me about the skater you’ve discovered.
I also just wanted to say I had NO idea about Asher and Brittney. I would have called both of them on that shit if I had.
Aimee
Fuck, she did? Are you okay with that?
Her name is Zara, she’s pretty good.
I got drunk with Eloise and my future SIL after that news dropped.
Louis
I mean, it sucks. But you and I both know she wanted to be a soloist.
I’m just trying to figure out my next steps. Brennan tried to convince her to do both, but you know Nicola, it’s all or nothing, and I can’t blame her for it.
Why wasn’t I invited?
Aimee
When I get home, we can get dinner and drinks.
Louis
You’re assuming Brennan won’t be training my ass into the ground. He has me skating with a temp partner…it’s weird.
Is Zara interested in Pairs? Does she want a partner? Lol
Aimee
I don’t actually know.
I can ask when I see her next.
Nicola is going to place gold in everything as a solo skater, isn’t she?
Louis
Oh, 100%
We’re going to have to back her up against all the haters lmao
We were good together, but we never melded the way you and Ass-her did on the ice.
