For a moment,I had to wonder if my parents had put him up to this. I knew that Lukas saw me in ways that other people didn’t. I could feel the first inklings of dread, nonetheless.
Everything had been going so well until I saw the rink. I’d pretty much avoided it since that first day here, except for a few days ago when I happened upon Zara skating alone. A part of me twinged at the loss, and wondered if maybe saying never again was stupid.
“I-I’m not trying to pressure you into anything,” he said softly, his fingers brushing over mine.
I swallowed the hard lump of fear in my throat, the feeling of betrayal, of wanting to buck against the feeling of being forced. I knew he wasn’t doing anything out of malice.
“I know,” he paused. “I know your feelings are still a complicated mess, and they might be forever when it comes to skating.”
He paused again, his fingers still moving until he had my hand grasped in his again.
“I also know that a part of you misses it, and I just wanted to present you with the option if you wanted it. My feelings won’tbe hurt if you don’t, but I thought that maybe the seclusion and lack of eyes on you might help.”
I shut my eyes and breathed deeply and told myself again, that he wasn’t trying to push me into anything. He was trying to quell the thoughts, voices, and fears crowding my mind. I might not have known Lukas for very long, but I knew that he wanted to give me the space and chance to maybe find my footing again. I’d like to go back to the thing that I used to love more than anything in the world.
I knew that even if I didn’t touch the ice, or the skates, hewouldbe more than happy to just sit out here under the stars with me. No pressure, like he said. So I opened my eyes and squeezed his hand, and his shoulders visibly relaxed.
“You know, you might be too good to be true, Lukas Fraiser.” He moved closer and dipped his head down to look at me. He brushed my hair back, tucking it behind my ear with the hand that wasn’t currently clasping mine, intertwining our fingers. “You deserve my best, and I have a horrible first impression to make up for,” he said, pressing his lips softly to mine.
I smiled against his mouth, and pulled back slightly.
He leaned in, chasing my lips, his eyes still shut and brows furrowed as he couldn’t make contact.
“It really was horrendous, wasn’t it? You’re lucky I even gave you a chance.”
He opened his eyes, and their normal golden brown had turned dark and heated and he captured my mouth, kissing me deeply. Drawing my body against his. His arms banded around me, sweeping up my back, pressing me to his body, drawing me up on my tiptoes as I let him devour me.
“You,” he paused and cleared the roughness from his voice. “You have the power to break me Aimee Bryant.”
The rasp in his voice had my pulse and other parts fluttering and I put my hands on either side of his face and kissed him softly.
“You wield the same power.” It was my turn to pause as we stared at each other. “Now, you said something about hot chocolate andplans,” I said.
“I’malmostregretting ever mentioningplans.” He groaned.
I titled my head back and laughed and when Lukas picked me up, I wrapped my legs around his waist and let him carry me over to the picnic under the stars.
It had been two hours,and I was antsy. I kept staring at the ice on the rink. The perfectly smoothy, glossy,untouchedice. The no pressure option. The skates Lukas had acquired were sitting near the edge, waiting.
I couldn’t stop wiggling my foot, fidgeting with my fingers.
The urge had started trickling in once Brittney dropped that little surprise bomb about Asher. I’d sworn off skating to honor him and to punish myself. Then seeing Zara that first day, talking to Brennan about her, and Lukas. That he was helping me find a way back to normal. A way back to actually living instead of just surviving each day.
“Tell me what’s on your mind,” he said, his fingers absentmindedly trailing up and down my arm.
I bit my lip and warred with myself on whether or not I really wanted to do this. It felt like a step that I could never take back—like a betrayal, or the final nail in the coffin of what Asher and I had once been. I had beensoadamant that I would never skate again. I’d trashed my skates in a fit of pain and rage and had thrown all of my outfits out of my closet.
All the medals, trophies, ribbons, and other memorabilia I’d accumulated over the years in regards to skating ended up in a trash can.
I tweaked my still healing knee in that explosion, screamed my voice raw. Orion had to restrain me, curled around me on the floor until I’d calmed down enough to pass out from pain and exhaustion. When I woke up the next day, he was sitting on the floor next to my bed, and one glance at the trashcan by the door, told me everything I needed to know. I’d rolled over, away from him and his sad and concerned gaze and let the exhaustion drag me back under.
I was pretty sure my parents and my brother had gathered up everything and stored it away somewhere out of sight. There was no way they actually trashed any of it, but the skates had been a lost cause—I’d butchered them.
“No eyes?”
Lukas’ fingers stopped moving, and I swear he held his breath.
“None.”
