There are the ones who sent me death threats as well as streamable and repostable video compilations of Asher and I.
The internet is a terrible place for broken people, and a great place for people who liked to break others.
I’d begged for my parents to let me stay home while they came here to do this, but they’d insisted, and it was more guilt. So, I agreed.
I was almost to the lockers when hands shoved me hard from behind.
I stumbled, tripping over my feet—already unsteady. I caught myself on my hands and knees—my bad knee screaming in pain. Tears welled in my eyes, and I struggled back to my feet—every movement pain. I was favoring my left leg, unable to put any weight on my right. My knee wouldn’t tolerate it.
I flinched when something hit my back, I put a hand on the lockers to help steady me.
“It’s your fault you stupid bitch!”
I cowered at her voice, my shoulders curling in, my eyes screwing shut. The rage and pain in her voice pierced me like daggers, cutting me open and leaving me to bleed. Tears tracked down my cheeks, and when I opened my eyes, I could see the blurry shapes of my brother and Brennan storming down the hall. I saw Nicola and Louis on their heels. I turned my head to look at Brittney. Her eyes were rimmed red, filled with loathing. I knew she and Asher had been friends, but I was the one who lost my best friend.
Something nudged the back of my mind, but I didn’t understand.
“You had to show off and do that fucking lift,” she yelled.
I stared at her, my lips trembling, but pressed into a thin line, trying to keep the pain contained. My tears hadn’t stopped falling, but now I wasn’t sure if they were entirely from the physical pain shooting up my leg, or if how deep her words cut.
“You just had to be Miss Fucking Perfect.”
She took a step towards me, but suddenly Nicola and Louis were between us. I don’t know when they overtook my brother and Brennan, but they had.
“Brittney, you need to back off,” Nicola said.
“It’s her fault! She’s the reason the accident happened!”
She tried to come at me again, but this time it was Louis who shoved her back.
“Knock it off. You’re being a bitch.”
Orion was between my friends and Brittney, and Brennan had a hand on his arm.
“Don’t get yourself arrested,” Brennan muttered.
“It should have been her!” She looked past everyone and with her livid gaze, caught my broken one., “It should have been you. Your head should have hit the ice. You should have been the one to—it should have been you. Not him. You.”
“Get her the fuck away from here,” Orion seethed. “We’ll be pressing charges for assault.”
My whole body shook as Nicola and Louis led Brittney away.
“Don’t worryabout going after them—I doubt they will say anything or come near her again,” Lukas said, his voice dark, rough, and protective.
I felt raw and my edges frayed. My emotions were a riotous storm cloud in my chest mixed with the deadened weight of not wanting to feel any of it right now. I just wanted all the feelings to go away, to be taken outside of my own head, my own body for just a moment. so I could feel like I could breathe.
And then Lukas showed up. Out of thin air. Val would have said that she wrote him to be a white knight. But I didn’t deserve that—him. I squeezed my eyes shut, just wanting it to all turn off.
“Aims, look at me. Please?”
A tear slipped free at Orion’s soft voice. I knew he was concerned, and I wanted to assure him I was okay. But I really wasn’t. After last night, and the panic attack this morning—it was too much.
Lukas put his hand on my lower back, and it was a comforting weight and pressure.
I didn’t care how his first impression had gone. I didn’t care that he knew things about me that maybe even some of my closest friends didn’t. I was finding that I liked the weight of him, the press of his skin against mine, the words that fell from his lips—his ability to be charming and caring. I found myself wanting to be around him—which was crazy because I barely knew him. But the heat of him, the press of him…his warmth…it quieted the ghosts in my head. The incessant noises constantly threaten to pull me under and drown me in what if’s and what could have been’s.
I wanted to be incredibly selfish. I wanted to wrap his arms around me, weld them shut so that he’d never let me go. But…
