“Honestly, why do you have to be so…yousometimes?” She asked. “I’ll be lucky if she even wants to hook me up with Brennan now.”
“I hope that wasn’t the first thing out of your mouth when you met her,” I said, hoping my sister understood the implication of acting like Aimee was just a stepping stone.
“I’m not an idiot. She offered to reach out to him on my behalf after she helped me for a bit. I could tell that she was scared of being recognized.”
I let out a breath, and flopped back on my bed and listened to Zara pace back and forth, tuning out her tirade. I was tired. I felt like shit. Guilt was eating at my every fiber. If I could go back in time and do last night all over again…
No, if I could go back in time, I’d go back to the accident and stop it from ever happening. I ran my hands over my face andgod I wish that were possible. A pillow smacked me in the face, and I bolted upright.
“What the hell, Zara?”
I yanked the pillow out of my sister's grasp, clutching it and glaring at her.
“You don’t get to be annoyed at this situation Lukas!” Zara snapped.
“Zar, there is literallynothingyou could say, or have already said, that I haven’t already thought of myself.”
She huffed, crossing her arms over her chest and I had to find the patience to deal with her teenage attitude.
“You need to fix this,” she said.
I flopped back down on the bed, not wanting to have the same argument again for whatever time this would be. Round 50, and I was black and blue.
“I can’t believe your argument last night was ‘I’m not a stalker’ and then you showed up at her room at the ass crack of dawn after weaseling the information out of poor Rachel!”
I groaned, because yep. I did that. I pulled the pillow over my face. Maybe it would come alive and put me out of my abject misery.
“Who even does that?” Zara asked. “What the hell possessed you to make you think that was a good idea?”
“Language, Zar,” I muttered behind the pillow.
It had to be rhetorical, because there was no good way I could answer it. In my haste to lessen my guilt and insomnia, I decided to become the actual thing I’d just insisted I wasn’t.
In all seriousness, this pillow really should take me out.
Everything I ever imagined when it came to Aimee—none of it had gone like this. It had been sweet and romantic—just like in all of Zara’s romantic comedies. Not be fumbling the bag so damn hard that literally nothing I did after would make up for it.
CHAPTER 10
aimee
The dining roomwas almost empty by the time Eloise and I hauled our asses out of bed, and stumbled out of our room midmorning.
Orion and Annalise had offered to wait to eat a late breakfast with us.
Apparently, Mom and Dad had to do some unplanned client meetings today and had sent texts that said it would be good for us ‘kids’ to have the morning to ourselves.
I yawned, still exhausted. Last night had been rough, and the guilt from the nightmares was lingering. I knew I looked terrible—the dark smudges under my eyes were a permanent feature at this point, and I knew my hair was in a messy pile on top of my head. I’d thrown on a pair of leggings and slippers and an oversized hoodie to come down to breakfast.
I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket, knowing it would be in the group chat. Eloise had regaled them with the events of last night and Hot Guy Lukas, and now they were being insufferable. It vibrated again, and I was surprised to find a smile tugging at the corners of my mouth. For a long time, I’d muted the chat, hadn’t participated, and had blocked everyone’s numbers. It had been too much early on, and I couldn’t bear to listen to one moreperson give me their condolences—even if they were some of my bestest friends.
We walked towards the table where my brother and Annalise were already sitting and eating. Well, Orion was eating and Annalise seemed to be watching him with part admiration and horrified fascination. As we got closer, it became very apparent that Orion must’ve gotten at least one of everything off the buffet. He had four plates, all piled high.
“Did you save any for anyone else?” Eloise asked as she pulled out a chair to sit.
“He’s lucky I love him, because otherwise I’d be disgusted,” Annalise said, taking a bite of her own food.
“Be thankful that you didn’t have to grow up with him. Between him and Asher, there was like,neverany food in the house,” I said.
