The piano notes changed, and that was my cue to let him go. Like we rehearsed, he stayed there until my back was turned and skated off. As the piano continued to play, I skated and wiped away pretend tears, and favored my one leg—not because it hurt, but for the story.
The silence that filled my head for weeks and months.
I collapsed to the ice, curling in a ball, and after a moment, I started to move. The dusty rose lighting slightly changed to something a bit darker, more blue and I crawled my way over the ice, struggling to get back on my feet—channeling all those emotions I'd felt for so long.
When I started skating, everything was sad - graceful and flowing, but every move weighed down with pain and sorrow. The failed double, the failed triple, the favoring of my knee, the helplessness that had plagued me.
As the music built, I started picking up speed, and I could feel the moment, I prepared for the quad—and right before the pinnacle of this program, I got ready to launch myself into the air, and I hit it dead on, and landed.
My hands on my head, my mouth open wide—a silent scream.
And then I was off, flying around the rink—triple, twizzle, spirals—all the tricks and things I’d spent years learning and mastering, I left them on the ice in that moment as I silently screamed everything I’d felt for years, before skidding to a stop in the center, letting the resignation of it all—the moment I’d found freedom on the ice again that day with Lukas—I let that fill me as I said goodbye to what I had with Asher.
Then, the piano notes changed again, and I skated. I was floating across the ice, reaching and waving my hands through the air. I spun, and then started racing around the edge, turning around to skate backwards as two more figures pulled from the shadows—Louis and Zara, wearing recreations of my and Asher’s outfits from that day. They stayed in the middle of the rink, skating a version of that program we did. I raced around them, watching them, letting the lyrics of this final song speak for themselves.
I moved in closer, reaching out and letting my outstretched hand brush over the two of them. They continued to skate and dance around each other, and I started to widen my circles as the lights started to dim.
This was arguably the trickiest part of the whole program. For almost a minute we would be skating in almost near darkness—the only dim light on me—Louis and Zara would exit the ice at that time. As the voice sang about how they thought the guy would be the one, the lights dimmed further.
The music started to pick up, and I started picking up speed again. No crazy elements, but my loops around the rink started growing smaller, and Iknewhe’d be waiting for me at the center. The lyrics repeated, and the lights came back on, just as I slid into Lukas’s embrace and his arms closed around me.
I stood there, wrapped in his hold, breathing heavily.
“You’re fucking stunning,” he whispered.
And then, the clapping started. It was a loud roar through the whole rink.
Lukas let me go, but not completely. He took ahold of my hand, and drew it into the air. My chest heaved and tears pricked at the corners of my eyes. I had thought that I hadn’t needed this dream. I had thought that I would be okay without it.
“And that’s how you show the world why you were considered the best,” the same voice who had introduced me said.
“Can you imagine going through what Aimee went through, and then coming to the next Olympic games and giving arguably the best gold medal performance anyone could ever give?”
“If I were any of the skaters competing I would be thanking the stars I didn't have to skate after Aimee.”
I laughed, and wiped at the tears that had started falling. Lukas smiled down at me, and then drew me in, kissing the top of my head.
“You were brilliant,” he said into my hair.
I wrapped an arm around his waist and squeezed. I waved to the crowd, spinning around to wave at the other side of the crowd. And then together, Lukas and I skated over to where Brennan, Zara and Louis waited. Everyone else would meet up with us afterwards.
Brennan drew me into a tight hug, and I hugged him back. The tears fell in earnest with his arms around me.
“I’m so incredibly proud of you,” he said.
“I’m only as good as my coach,” I said, my voice muffled from his sweater and emotions.
He pulled back and looked in my eyes. “No, you were good before me. You made coaching you an absolute joy. And you put everything on the ice just now.That,Aimee Bryant isn’t an easy feat. They’ll be talking about that program for a long time.”
I laughed and wiped my eyes. I looked over at Louis and Zara.
“Thank you both for what you did out there.”
Zara squealed and pried me from Brennan’s embrace, capturing me in her own.
“I got to skate withtheAimee Bryant at the Olympics. I could literally die happy now,” she said.
“Hey, I don’t really want to findanothernew partner, so save the dying for after a medal and we’re officially done skating together.
