I wrapped my arms around his neck, holding him close.
“You’re not allowed to leave me ever again,” I said, voice muffled into his shoulder.
Lukas wrapped his arms tightly around me, trapping me against his chest. “What if you get sick of me?”
“Not possible,” I said.
It really wasn’t. The day I left him in the hotel room—that was a mistake. A huge, massive mistake and I was never going to make it again. Then, his wipeout reinforced that thought. I wasn’t perfect, I was still a mess and maybe a little broken, and maybe I would always be. But I knew that I wanted Lukas to be there, to be in my life. The fear of not having him…
“I thought I lost you,” I mumbled over his shoulder.
“You could never lose me, Aimee.” He pushed me back and made me stare into his eyes. “Youown me. You have my heart and my soul. My big ego.”
I snorted at that.
“That day…fuck, that day broke me. And then when the pain meds wore off enough and I could think, I tried to get out of bed to go to you. Zara and Petyr had to hold me down. I have never regretted my words more than how everything happened the day we ended things.”
My eyes started to tear up again and I quickly wiped away the evidence. My chin wobbled, but a small smile played on my lips. I shifted in his lap and his hands moved to cup around the back of my neck.
“I was told that I needed to come after you and hold you tight and never let go.”
“Sounds like sage advice,” I whispered.
“I plan on heeding it if you’ll have me. I know that I don’t want to spend any more time apart from you than necessary. I want to be your rock in the middle of the ocean. I want to be the one you tell all your good and bads to. I want to be the one youcome home to, the one you find solace in. I want to be the one you let into your messy thoughts. I just want to always be there for you.”
I wiped at the tears and laughed, “How is it when I first met you, all I could do was cry? It’s like we’ve come full circle.”
He leaned forward and kissed the tears from my face.
“I know we have a lot more to talk about, but tell me, Aimee. Tell me you want me as much as I want you.”
He pressed his forehead to mine and squeezed his eyes shut.
I brought my hands up and brushed my fingers over his jaw, up his cheek until I was cupping them. I tilted his face up, and his eyes opened to meet mine. They were searching, cautious and maybe a bit scared of what I was going to say.
“We do need to talk. But more so, I want you so much. I want everything you want. I want to be your rock. I want to be the one you tell everything to. I want to be there when you get home. I want to feel your arms wrap around me and the kisses you press into my skin. I want to know what’s going on in your mind. I want to be the only one inflating your fucking ego.”
He leaned back and laughed.
I grinned, and I didn’t care if we’d suddenly become visible to the others in the rink, or if we’d disrupted the trial going on down below.
“If you don’t fucking kiss me, Lukas Fraiser?—”
He cut me off as his lips met mine. I melted into him, and let him hold me closer. We kissed like we were starving, like it was our last night on Earth. His tongue swept into my mouth, tasting and devouring. I let my hands slide up into his hair and get tangled in the strands, and when I gripped them lightly, he groaned into my mouth. I smiled and felt his lips pull into one as well, before he was back to kissing me senseless.
We would talk.
We would be there for each other.
I would learn to let go of more of the guilt, to live more in the moment, to live for the future and let less of the past haunt me. I had thought I knew the trajectory of my life. I thought I had it all planned out, that I knew what my future held.
But I’m slowly learning that things don’t go to plan, that projected outcomes aren’t always the best things for us—that first loves can be lost and you can be okay. That sometimes the thin ice has to crack and break. That someone will come along and things may be messy and chaotic and burn like a raging fire…but they might be the thing that grounds you the most.
Lukas pulled back, both of us were breathing heavily.
“So, now might not be thebesttime for this, seeing as Zara is down there glaring at us, and my parents aredefinitelygoing to want to meet you, and Brennan looks like he may murder me, but you are not going to be able to get off my lap until we deal with my…ego problem,” he whispered the last part.
He grinned at me, and I stared at him.
