“That was…” She trails off, unsure what she’d intended to say.
Right now, “just friends” is a comfortable certainty. A gravity blanket. A subtle vanilla-scented candle.
And the alternative is a giant blinking cursor and a blank document. Sometimes it feels like Josh has already been poking around that page. Writing passages and deleting them before she’s ready to open it.
Something in his expression turns cloudy.
“It was just a New Year’s kiss,” he says after an eternity of honking horns and off-key renditions of “Auld Lang Syne.” “And the pot.”
“Right,” is all she manages, all her rhetorical skill apparently buried under the combination of mind-altering substances, adrenaline, and unfulfilled need.
“It doesn’t have to be…anything.” His voice is firm; his face tells another story. He must be transmitting some kind of clue, but Ari can’t decipher it.
A sharp gust of wind billows around her unzipped coat. He turns toward the incline that leads back to Central Park West. “We should move before they close off the path for the race.”
He heads through the arch, not waiting for her, not hesitating when she doesn’t immediately follow.
Ari stays put for a few more seconds, wondering if he might stop and turn around, giving her time to catch up. But he keeps walking away, not even slowing his pace.
Pushing off the wall, she hurries after him.
Maybe this will be fine. Maybe this is how normal people deal with mistakes. They just keep moving forward. She reminds herself to take some deep breaths, but the freezing air hurts her lungs.
As soon as she gets to the spot where the hill starts to rise, her beautiful, impractical stiletto slips on the frost-covered pavement again, sending a jolt of panic through her body as she catches herself.
“Josh!” She turns to the side and takes tiny, shuffling steps, feeling ridiculous. “I can’t get up the hill.”
“I guess you’ll just have to live there,” Josh calls over his shoulder. He takes his time coming back for her.
16
Wed Jan 4, 11:24p.m.
Josh:I already selected tonight’s film.
Does Donnie Darko hold up?
Disaffected teen Josh Kestenberg thought it was the height of cinema.
11:34p.m.
Ari:sorry can’t tonight
really busy
Josh:At 11:34 pm?
Ari:didn’t you say I should get back out there?
Catch up later?
Mon, Jan 9, 9:57p.m.
Josh:Hello?
Still busy?
10:26p.m.
