“I’ll call you after?” She’s far enough down the path that he has to shout it.
“Sounds great!” Ari yells back.Totally!Can’t wait to find out whether the yoga instructor spends the night!
She speed-walks toward Fifth Avenue, heading east when she’d meant to continue south. Ari glances behind her and he’s rubbing at the back of his neck. She’s never felt the need to escape a conversation with Josh before. Hadn’t she told him she was a “really great wingwoman”?
What if Josh and the yoga instructor have brunch the next morning and the date lasts into Monday, when they’ll both walk over to Crunchtogether for class at sixa.m., where she’ll demonstrate (again) how flexible she is while easing her body into a series of Instagrammable #yogagoals poses?
Once she’s a safe distance away, with shin splints hobbling her right leg, Ari retrieves her phone from her bag. She’d been saving this move for a truly critical sex-life circumstance. A break-glass-in-case-of-emergency situation.
Apparently, this is that moment.
Ari updates each of her active dating profiles tosingle, seeking couples.
“Fuck it,” she murmurs, editing her username to include unicorn emojis for good measure.
If Josh can date someone, Ari can date two someones.
12
Sat, Dec 10, 8:47p.m.
Josh:You said yoga classes were a great place to meet women.
Ari:they are.
All that flexibility and stamina and sweat…
Date not going well?
Josh:She’s not just a yoga instructor, she’s also trying to sell me microbiome superpowder.
Ari:so you’re saying she’s more employed than you are.
You should see my date
Dates
Josh:What?
Ari:Last minute thing with a couple I matched with
Josh:A couple?
Ari:He’s got a beard, she has a nose ring
They live in Red Hook
Stop me if you think you’ve heard this one before
Josh:Dating one person is too much intimacy for you but two people is no problem?
Ari:they’re looking for a unicorn
they have each other for the intimacy stuff
I bet they’ll cuddle with each other afterward and won’t want me to spend the night
Jackpot!
