Ari opens Netflix—Cass still hasn’t changed the password—and lets the cursor hover over the looping trailer for one of those Hallmark-esque holiday romances. The thought of watching this alone, while eating an entire sleeve of saltines and drinking wine from the bottle, feels unbearably sad, even though that’s probably how this film is consumed most of the time.
These things are only fun if there’s someone else to appreciate her snarky commentary.
Thur, Oct 13, 10:03p.m.
Ari:u up?
Wanna do shrooms and watch the 4th Christmas prince movie???
10:11p.m.
Radhya:bitch I’m roasting swordfish for another hour
any update on the beer garden?
Ari:yes!
your pop-up is ON for January 15
(and I didn’t even have to exchange sexual favors)
we can go over there next week and talk beer pairings
he said to go heavy on the salt
Radhya:thx Twattie
Ari:anytime, Cum Slut
Ari falls back on her pillow, making the plastic mattress squeak and echo around the naked walls.
She sighs. The sound seems to bounce.
Her right thumb scrolls through her contact list and circlesthe biggest boytwice before pressing down. Why the hell not?
Thur, Oct 13, 10:13p.m.
Ari:Wanna hatewatch a mediocre movie with me?
Josh:I thought movies were off-limits due to your inability to keep your pants on the moment you see the Netflix logo.
Ari:yes, for the sake of my virtue, we will not be in the same room
We turn on a movie at the same time and watch it together while we text
Her device lights up with an incoming call.
“Dude,” she says, “what is your obsession with talking on the phone? Who even makes actual calls anymore?”
“I’m not going to spend an entire movie texting on an even tinier screen. Or are you going to talk incessantly so that I can’t hear the dialogue?”
“Oh, you won’t want to hear the dialogue.” Ari sits up on the air mattress. “Because we’ll be watchingThe Expendables—”
“Absolutely not.”
“It’s the perfect choice for our overwhelming isolation and fear of dying alone. Even the title speaks to me.” She lies back on her pillow and the air mattress squeaks in protest. “And I won’t lose the plot while I fold my laundry.”
“Do you even own a dresser for the clean clothes?” he asks.
