Ari looks back down at the phone in her hand and types. He braces himself—physically tenses up—when she turns it around to show him the screen.
BIGGEST BOYFRIEND
Relief floods his face. His phone buzzes again.
GIRLFRIEND:Thanks for the sex!
Ari’s mouth breaks into a wide smile. “Gabe might have questions when I return this—”
Josh drops the phone onto the counter. He slides his right arm around her waist and lifts her up until their faces are just about level. She’s too overwhelmed to be anything but deadweight as he kisses her hard, his nose pushing into her cheekbone.
“Can we try that again?” she asks when he slowly eases her down to the ground. “I feel like I wasn’t ready for that.”
“That could be the pull quote for our entire relationship.” He turns his attention to the sizzling butter.
Ari hops up on his kitchen table, letting her legs dangle.
Josh turns around from the stove, his expression cycling between indignation and titillation. “There’s a chairright thereand you’re sitting on the tabletop Ijustcleaned? Get off.”
She feels a frisson of excitement low in her belly. “Make me…Chef.”
“Make you what?” He takes a few steps toward the table, raising his eyebrows.
She looks him in the eye, still kicking her legs and using a measured tone. “Make me get off.”
“Do I need to get the spatula?” He takes another step closer, and she’s convinced he smiles for half a second, before reaching out to grab her right ankle when she swings it forward. “Or the hairbrush?”
His eyes roam down her stomach, just below her belly button.
“Still, with this underwear?”
She looks down to confirm. “Well I haven’t received my two-hundred-dollar panties yet.”
“These are threadbare. I can’t let you walk around like that.”
“So don’t,” she says with a hint of a smile. Ari reaches for his hands, guiding them to the worn elastic waistband around her hips. They pull it down together.
He places a hand between her breasts and pushes until she’s lying back on the tabletop.
Over her heaving chest, she sees him kneel down. His nostrils flare as he grabs under her left thigh, and with a leg in each hand, pulls her forward just a bit roughly over the edge of the table. Something under her skin thrums.
“You have three minutes until your breakfast burns,” he mutters, resting her legs on his shoulders.
Eight minutes later, Ari bites into matzo brei that’s completely charred.
She doesn’t mind one bit.
31
“WE SHOULD’VE BOUGHT TICKETS INadvance.” Ari buttons her coat against the February wind as they walk up Crosby Street. “The Moth Story Slam always sells out.”
“Briar invited us. I had to agree to work three closing shifts next week so that Radhya would let me off tonight.” Josh turns his head to look one more time at the line snaking down the block in front of the Housing Works Bookstore. “I assumed our names would be on a list. Then again, I’m not sure we need to hear Briar’s Chris Evans story. Again.”
“Ilovethat story.” She pauses at the corner of Houston, winding the scarf around her neck. “Imagine going on a date with Chris Evans for the sole purpose of getting Jenny Slate’s number so that she could call her and beg her to get back together with Chris Evans. What a hero.”
“That didnothappen.”
“It totally happened. Gabe helped her workshop themonologue,” she says over the dissonant sound of multiple honking horns. “Pizza?”
