“But?” I prompt, sensing there’s more.
He grows more serious. “But I haven’t tested this procedure on anyone yet, so it’s all theoretical. I’d be essentially rewiring parts of your brain to unlock abilities you might not even know you have. The enhancement could be exactly what we hope for, or…” He shrugs. “The human brain is incredibly complex. I can’t guarantee what the outcome will be. Not to mention, Malachi would probably kill me for even talking to you about this.”
Despite the warning, my interest is piqued. The idea of being stronger, of having more control over my abilities when we face whatever horrors await in that underground lab, is incredibly tempting.
The girl from the photograph flashes through my mind unbidden, and I can hear her voice echoing in my memory: “Your gifts are only beginning to surface.” Was that a sign? A push toward this exact moment?
“How long will it take?” I ask.
Bash glances over at the digital clock on the wall—it’s nearly 3:00 p.m. “The procedure itself will be quick, maybe thirty minutes for the full neural mapping and frequency adjustment.”
Thirty minutes doesn’t seem particularly quick to me, especially if this procedure has any pain involved with it.
“I want you to do it now,” I tell him, my decision crystallizing with surprising certainty.
His eyebrows shoot up. “Like, right now? You’re not going to talk to Malachi first? Get his input on this?”
I roll my eyes. “I don’t need his permission, and I don’t need him talking me out of it.” The decision feels right as I continue, “You didn’t see the things I saw in those Project Graft files, Bash. The awful, horrific experiments I know are happening somewhere right now while we’re standing here debating. The Volkovs need to be stopped, and I’m tired of feeling useless.”
His expression shifts, lips falling into a flat, serious line. For a moment, I think he’s going to refuse, but then he sighs deeply.
“You are hardly useless, Kat…” He looks at me with renewed determination. “Fuck it. Okay, let’s do this.”
He moves quickly to the lab door, engaging the electronic lock with a soft beep, then dims the overhead lights until the room takes on an almost ethereal glow from the various machine displays.
Is this a terrible idea?
Yes, this is probably a terrible idea, but some of the best things in life start out as terrible ideas, so there’s that.
I watch Bash program the machine and remind myself that I’m done being afraid of using my gift, of becoming stronger. Ithink about what Aurora said before. It’s time I start using my gift for me.
I didn’t think I’d convince Malachi so easily to let me go on this mission, and I still have a feeling he’s going to try to find a way out of it. All the more reason to prove to him I am a real asset to the team. This could be exactly the kind of boost I need.
The animals in those documents make my heart physically ache. Thinking about all the Avids who have been trafficked like me or who’ve stayed in hiding for fear of what might happen to them if they’re discovered. Those people and innocent creatures, taken by the Volkovs… They’re counting on someone to save them, even if they don’t know it. How can I live with myself if I don’t try?
Maybe this is why I survived the accident. This is why I survived all the hell I went through when so many others didn’t. Maybe this is what I’m meant to do with this gift that has felt like a burden for so long. What if everything I’ve been through was preparing me for this exact moment?
“Are you ready?” Bash asks, drawing my attention back to the present.
I take a deep breath, feeling the weight of my decision settle into place. “Ready as I’ll ever be.”
I hop onto the cold metal gurney, and Bash positions me exactly where he wants me, then begins securing thick padded restraints across my wrists, chest, and ankles. The moment the first strap clicks into place, every survival instinct I have starts screaming.
“What the hell are these for? Planning to keep me as a lab rat?” I joke lamely.
Bash’s entire demeanor has shifted. Gone is the friendly scientist, replaced by someone who looks like he’s about to perform brain surgery. “I told you this is completely experimental,Kat. These restraints aren’t optional. If your body goes into shock or if you start convulsing during the neural restructuring, you could seriously injure yourself.”
He disappears from view, and I’m left staring up at the claustrophobic dome of sensors and wires hanging inches from my face. My heart starts hammering against my ribs. Control your breathing.
You chose this.
The walls aren’t actually closing in.
“Bash, when you say ‘shock’ and ‘convulsing,’ are we talking mild discomfort or full-on seizure territory?”
The machine around me begins to hum with increasing intensity, and I can feel energy building in the air, making my skin tingle.
This is a bit ominous.
