“Thanks,” he said, liking the way they worked together. They…had the same vibes that they had had at the festival. Just an easygoing companionship between them that made him feel happy and satisfied.
He carried the stand through the kitchen, down the hall, and into the library, and when he came out, she was waiting at the bottom of the steps.
“You can go up,” he said.
“I didn’t want to look without you. It…feels familiar, but not. Does that make sense?”
“I suppose. It’s kind of got our stamp on it, and that probably feels weird.”
“It does.”
“I suppose it’s hard,” he said as he started slowly upstairs. He held his hand out for one of the bags, and she handed it over.
“Not really. I was talking to someone, and they said that I needed to focus on the good, and at first, I thought that was weird because what good is there? I left my home, right? And now I’m a stranger in a home that I used to own.”
“I’m sorry.”
She shook her head, then stuck her arm back underneath the bag. “Don’t be. I promise. It’s okay. They pointed out that I don’thave any of the worries that I used to have and I get to live here worry free. I pretty much have the best of both worlds. And yeah, I can see some bad things about that, but it just seems silly to focus on the bad.”
“That’s really wise.”
“Yeah. That’s what I thought. I was kind of embarrassed that I hadn’t thought about it myself. Although, I do think sometimes we can take that to the other extreme and we can totally bury our heads in the sand and we just ignore the things that are wrong. I don’t recommend that either. But in my case, I can’t do anything about it.”
“I see what you’re saying. If we can change it, to ignore it is silly and foolish. Or if we should change it.”
“Exactly. Like something that’s dangerous, or if I want something and I need to work for it. I can’t just sit around and think, oh, I’m just going to be happy that I don’t have it. No. I can go work for this thing. So, you need a little bit of common sense, but in this case, there was absolutely nothing I could do. I just needed to adjust my attitude so that I was happy instead of wallowing in self-pity.”
“It’s too bad that more people don’t think like that. I think we’d all be happier. But instead, we focus on the bad, on what we don’t have, on what wasn’t given to us, on how people didn’t treat us right, or on how we feel like we’re the victim. You know, when you’re the victim, you become powerless. I don’t understand why it’s so popular to pretend to be a victim anymore.”
“That’s sad, in a way. A lot of people are being convinced that they’re victims, and that someone else needs to do something in order for them to be justified. But in reality, you’re only as much of a victim as you allow yourself to be. I mean, I could say I was a victim of my parents’ overspending, but in reality, I’d rather look at it like I was able to build my own life. I was given the opportunity to learn how hard it is to make things work, how freeing it can be to let things go. And now, I owe nothing, and I’m able to start building my life from the bottom up. It was actually a blessing.”
“If that’s how you choose to look at it. Which I think is the smartway. But so many people choose to look at themselves as victims and reject the idea that they might be able to do something with what they’ve been given. Instead, they’re looking around and demanding that they be compensated for the unfairness of society.”
They had reached the top of the steps, and she looked around. “Which rooms are taken?”
Chapter Eighteen
Everything really did look different. It was tough to not feel a little bit of sadness at how it used to be. But the changes weren’t bad. In fact, she truly was happy that the house had children in it again and was housing a family. Helping a family heal from a terrible tragedy. Although, when he had talked about his wife at the festival, he didn’t really say anything about her sickness or her death. Or how he felt about it. Maybe it was obvious. Of course he was sad, but…there was something that seemed a little off, and she felt like there was maybe more to the story.
He pointed out the three bedrooms that his children had claimed and then pointed at the end of the hall where his bedroom was.
“That was my old bedroom,” she said with a smile.
He nodded, and she wondered if he had chosen that on purpose.
No. That was ridiculous. Except, he would have known which bedroom was hers because it was the only one that truly looked lived in when he had gone through the house with the realtor. But he was a man. Did men really notice those things? No. Surely not.
But she didn’t know why he would have chosen that room. It didn’t have a bathroom connected to it, and it was the smallest of allthe six rooms, since the new bathroom that her mother had put in had taken some of the room from that bedroom.
“All right. I guess I’ll take this room,” she said, pointing at a room that had been empty the entire time she’d been growing up. It had a beautiful view of the backyard, and she always really liked it because it got the morning and afternoon sun, sitting on the corner the way it did. It didn’t have a bathroom though, which possibly was the reason his children didn’t choose it.
The room that her parents had shared had been taken by Larissa, and that made her smile. It was the largest room and had a huge, massive bath, a jack and jill sink, and a tile shower as well as a separate clawfoot tub.
She had loved that bathroom, and occasionally after her parents had passed, she had soaked in the tub.
“All right then. I’ll help you carry the rest of your stuff up. Does it all go up here?”
“I have the plants that you specifically requested,” she said with a grin.
