Sweat coated her forehead. Her damp hair clung to her neck as shenodded and finally lowered her dagger.
Draven let out a breath, running one hand through his disheveled hair as he stood in front of her. “You were screaming, then you started to flare. What was that?”
Astraia stood, her legs unsteady, then walked to the window. She looked at the starless sky, a sliver of the moon visible, casting a soft glow on her face. She took a deep breath, willing herself to open a place of her heart she had closed off to everyone, sometimes even herself.
“It was a nightmare. I have it…a lot,” she explained, focusing her eyes on the inky blackness above her.
“Do you need to talk about it?” Draven asked, not a hint of judgment in his voice as she heard him step up beside her.
She blew out a breath, holding back tears threatening to spill, a lump forming in her throat. Astraia was not sure what made her tongue loosen around the bounty hunter. Maybe it was the anticipation of death, or finally surrendering to the pain, but she no longer cared.
“It’s the worst day of my life. I relive it every time. Sometimes small details change, but it always ends the same.”
She paused, waiting for a retort from Draven. When none came, she continued.
“It’s about my younger brother, Elion. He was my best friend, the only person who truly cared and loved me for who I was, not my bond.” Her voice quivered. It was the first time in five years she had uttered her brother’s name. Five years since the day he was taken from her. “He was reckless, a free spirit. My parents expected more of him, but he didn’t care. They expected a lot of me too, a Starborne. Our father, he…he betrayed us. Betrayed Elion. And our mother just watched, blaming me for the feud between my father and brother.”
Her voice softened, unable to hold back tears now as she recalled that day—when she was left alone. “One day, my father revealed the horrible plans he had for my brother. I watched as they fought, screaming at each other. My mother yelled at me. Then…it happened. I had never known until that day that I was dual bonded. That not only had I been chosen by Sacrifice, but also by Power. It was untethered, raw, and undisciplined. I was so angry and wanted to protect Elion and destroy my father. I flared. Power and Sacrifice. Together.”
The silence in the small room was deafening, her pulse pounding in her ears.
“And I killed them. My father, my mother. Elion. I destroyed them.”
She was weeping, tears flowing freely down her face as she stared absently into the darkness through the window.
Her brother had died because of her. Because of the Stars and the bonds they gave her. She had lived with that torment alone—until now. Now, this maddening, amber-eyed stranger stood beside her like he belonged there. Perhaps maybe, just maybe, her pain did not have to be hers alone.
So many times she had considered ending her suffering, dark thoughts clouding her mind as she envisioned jumping from the white fjords into the Aetherdeep, letting the icy waves claim her.
But whenever those dark thoughts entered her mind, Elion’s last words would echo in her memory.
You are Starlight, Astraia. You will not fall.
She let all the years of grief pour from her as she stood beside the bounty hunter. Why she had decided to trust her deepest regret with a practical stranger, she did not know. Something inside pulled her toward him, even though her mind screamed at her to run.
Draven’s little finger grazed the top of her hand, causing an electric shockwave to rush through her blood, coursing up her spine. Her bonds roared to life, rising up to meet the surge. Bright spots swarmed her vision, thoughts became hazy, and a breath caught in her throat.
Draven’s eyes widened, gaze flickering down to where their skin met, then back up at Astraia’s face. She lifted her eyes to meet his.
His mouth opened, then shut again. She couldn’t be sure, but something flickered behind his amber gaze—something not unlike guilt.
“It’s not your fault, Traia. You are not your bonds.” His voice was low and steady.
She did not believe him, but the secret that had tormented her waking and sleeping thoughts was slightly less smothering. She no longer harbored her regret alone, letting it eat her inside.
Several seconds ticked by before Astraia realized she was staring at him intently. Heat rushed to her cheeks. She cleared her throat and backed away.
Draven cleared his throat, raking his hand through his hair again. “Right. Well, we should get some rest.” He turned and stopped in front of the bed. “You can take the bed.”
He did not look at her as he stepped over to the chair and slumped down.
Astraia blinked, confused, but did not refuse as she lowered onto the bed, inhaling the scents of pine and wood smoke.
Chapter 10
Why do you seek the living among the fallen? Why do you pine for the days of old? When the land teemed with fortune and the blessed were celebrated? Why do you heap sorrow on your soul? Is it not better to bury the lost? Is it not better to accept what can never be again?
Starless Night
