“Only blowjobs. Though I’ve fucked a few in the past. I always wore protection. I’m never careless. As for the feeling side of it, I just enjoy people watching me get off.”
“Where…do you find these types of parties?” The curiosity in his tone was surprising. The way he was looking at me wasn’t the way Sean had responded when I’d finally told him the truth. Could it be…interest?
“There is a club that caters to my particular brand of kink,” I said.
As I thought about us walking the halls of Adam’s Garden together, seeing naked bodies involved in various acts, heat pulsed through me. That was all I ever wanted: to share a vital part of my identity with someone I loved.
“Hey,” I said and ran my hand up his arm, his shoulder, all the way to his cheek. “I meant what I said before. No matter what you decide, I’ll always be your friend, okay?”
He nodded and scooted closer to me so he could kiss his lips. The interest he’d shown was a good sign and gave me hope my kink was compatible. I was worried about his anxiety, though. I would never force this on him.
CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE
JAKE
February
As I rode the elevator up to Gabriel’s condo, everything was right in the world. I’d just finished swimming a few laps in the pool and experimenting with the weight machines. Luckily, I was alone in the gym so no one could witness me fumbling with them like a complete newbie.
I slid the key he’d made for me into the door, feeling as if this were where I was meant to be. Him financially supporting me as I got my life together bothered me a bit, but I wanted to make him proud when I finally earned my GED. Besides, if our situations were reversed I would have taken care of him because that’s what you did when you loved someone.
Between our fuck-fests, we’d shared deep and meaningful conversations. I never thought being open and honest with someone could feel so good. It was difficult talking about my life, but he helped me through it, and I’d discovered letting someone in made it seem as if I didn’t have to face my problems alone. Things were great with Maria too, which was the cherry on top.
Everyday filled me with hope. I finally had something to look forward to and a reason to continue being. Gabriel and I had made plans to see the world and do the things I never had the chance to. Everything from spending a few days in southern Illinois to watch a once in a lifetime eclipse to visiting Hawaii in the winter. Things were changing for him as well, and he was anxious about taking over his father’s clinic. I wanted to support him the same way he did me, even if that meant just bringing him a cup of coffee or listening to him vent.
Gabriel was in the kitchen brewing some tea when I walked in. He’d just gotten out of the shower, and I grinnedlecherously at the white towel around his hips. I no longer thought twice about touching him. He still made me blush because he was plain naughty and I’d always be shy when it came to certain things, but the embarrassment about my need to wear women’s lingerie was gone. I loved dressing in a variety of garments and sending him sexy photos while he was at work. By the time he got home we were both hard and desperate. He never forgot to remind me how beautiful I was to him.
He chuckled. “We don’t have time for that. We have to leave in an hour. You better get your cute butt in gear.”
I kissed him chastely then dumped my gym stuff in the hamper and jumped in the shower. Tonight was a big event for his friend Sean. The man’s boyfriend was playing in an orchestra for the yearly fundraiser it put on. It was a black-tie affair, and I was expected to look the part.
We’d gone shopping on Oak Street last week for something nice to wear. All the high-end shops and fine restaurants were overwhelming, but he’d guided me through it all. He’d helped me pick my outfit and made a game of us guessing the price tags. Loro Piana, Oro Fiore, and Tom Ford were some of the labels I’d chosen based on the styles that appealed to me. I learned about all kinds of fabric weaves and fancy stitching that made the difference between a few hundred and several thousand dollars. To no one’s surprise, I’d lost our game. I couldn’t fathom spending so much money on a single outfit but pampering me seemed to make him happy.
“I told you, baby boy, you’re worth so much more than I can give you,” he’d said and kissed me sweetly in front of everyone, stealing the last of my reservations.
When I was done in the shower, I dabbed on some cologne he’d bought for me. It wasn’t as dark and spicy as his and came with notes of something floral. As I looked at my reflection in the mirror, the edges misted over, it was as if I’dbeen reborn. I was new and fresh and full of potential. Even better, I had people that cared about me this time around.
Gabriel was in his room when I entered, slipping into his slacks. He curled his finger inward, and I obeyed. He pulled me into a slow, sweet kiss that made my balls tighten.
I pulled away with a snicker. “We don’t want to be late, remember?”
He simply smiled like a wolf.
It was dark by the time we left. We took an Uber, and it dropped us off at the entrance to the Orchestra Hall at the Symphony Center. He told me a little about the Georgian architecture of the building as we took our place in line. I’d discovered he enjoyed opera and theatre. We will still learning about each other but that was a good thing.
Everyone was dressed in their best and I couldn’t help feeling out of place. It would take a while for me to become comfortable. That sense of being an impostor here gnawed at me. My anxiety would never really go away, but with Gabriel keeping me safe, I could handle this.
We were let in, and the glowing grandeur of the architecture was astonishing. He held my hand as he pulled me toward the front of the auditorium. I spotted Sean first, dressed spectacularly and standing next to two men my age. The one guy with dark hair and a harsh expression dwarfed everyone and looked uncomfortable in his suit. I wondered how he’d even fit into it.
Gabriel and Sean hugged, and he tugged at the man’s long beard. “You clean up nice.”
“Don’t get used to it. This suit is not my jam, amirite?” Sean looked at me. “I see he’s turned you to the dark side.”
I rocked on my feet and shrugged, trying to seem as pleasant as possible but I was nervous that they wouldn’t like me, which seemed ridiculous at the moment. It was something Ineeded to work on. The new therapist I was seeing was helpful, but I had a lot to sort out.
Gabriel touched the back of my shoulder, urging me forward. “Jake, this is Danny and his husband, Jere.”
Jere smiled tightly as if he were afraid of moving and busting a seam. Danny leaned into his fancy cane and offered me his hand. I took a deep breath and connected with him, his palm trembling in mine. I wondered what had happened to such a young man that he needed a cane to walk.
