“Jere,” I murmured. Someone needed to tell him he couldn’t go around sticking his significant package in gay men’s faces. We would not be responsible for the consequences.
“Hm?”
But to do so would be to admit I was attracted to him. And I didn’t want him asking questions.
He sighed and pulled his pants up. “I’m sad.”
“Why?”
He sat back down next to me, his weight creating a dip in the mattress and pulling me into him. “Because you’re sad and I don’t know how to cheer you up.”
I wanted to die of happiness because sometimes he was damned adorable with his simple thoughts. I glanced at the sandwich in my hand that was now a little mashed and took a nibble. “Well, this sandwich is a start.”
He beamed, the smile pushing away the bad thoughts.
The day ended up turning out okay. Jere was a big part of that. His cuddles and sandwiches and flashing went a long way to perking me up. Mom and Ronnie arrived in the evening, but I’d forgotten about the dinner and a movie thing they had planned. Ronnie made spaghetti with garlic bread, and we watched an old movie—Who Framed Roger Rabbit?—that made me feel like I was high on pain killers. Like most days, all the excitement and a belly full of carbs had me crashing halfway through the movie. Someone draped a blanket over me. Jere. It was his scent. And the way he breathed.
Someone turned the movie on mute while another collected the plates, the silverware clanging against the porcelain. Having my family and friends around me chased the sadness away and kept the shadows at bay. At least, until the hushed voices talking about me in the kitchen jerked me awake.
Danny. Bills. Expensive to stay here.
“Mrs. B.,” Jere was saying. “I don’t understand what loan rates and delinquency fees are, but I think they want money.”
The ruffle of paper preceded my mother’s voice. “Oh, it’s his student loans.”
I scrubbed my face and got up. I was a good boy, practicing the balance techniques Alex had shown me and used my walker.
“Oh, baby, did we wake you?” Mom asked as I stood at the kitchen entrance, looking like she wanted to rush to me. She probably saw the annoyance on my face.
“The amusement woke me up. I think it’s hilarious people think they’re actually quiet when whispering.”
“We were just discussing some things, honey,” Ronnie chimed in as she put the remainder of dinner into storage containers.
“Sorry, Danny. I don’t understand what your student loans are trying to say, otherwise I would have sent them something.”
“You shouldn’t have to,” I growled, and stamped my walker. I instantly regretted it. “I’m sorry. I…”
“Are you feeling that anger again?” he asked.
I nodded and swallowed my frustration. “You don’t have to try to hide this from me. I know I’m in debt. I know things are falling apart and there is nothing I can do to stop it.”
Ronnie stopped what she was doing and rushed to hug me. I leaned into her, digging my fingers into the back of her velvety top. Then it was Mom’s turn to hug me, and I didn’t fight it. I needed my rocks if I were going to get through this. Jere held out a chair for me as I sat down and proceeded to listen to the closest people in my life spit out facts for fifteen minutes straight. They took turns explaining why it was a good idea for me to move in with my mother. I didn’t interrupt them because the sooner this conversion was over with, the sooner I could go back to wallowing.
“You already have a bedroom there. Everything is set up.”
“Why spend your savings on the apartment when you won’t be able to keep it?”
“It’s hard to travel here every day to help you.”
They all had good and valid points, of course.
“It’s fine,” I mumbled and let go of a suffering sigh, defeated by logic and lack of funds. “I knew this day was coming. I can’t continue to stick my head in the sand and pretend it’s not happening.”
“It’s not the end of the world, baby,” Mom said and pulled up a chair next to me. I wanted to pull away from her touches, but I knew it wasn’t her comfort I was fighting. I was ready to do battle with the truth as futile as it was.
“You’re all right and everything you’ve said makes complete sense. I just had grand plans of making lots of money while saving the world, buying you your dream house, and having you retire early.”
“Oh, my gosh, come here.” She sobbed and pulled me into a hug.
