Beth gave a watery chuckle and pressed her face into her sister's shoulder. "No, no - they're happy tears. I think." She drew in a shuddering breath, Tyr's gentle kiss still tingling on her lips.
Naomi held her at arm's length, studying Beth's tear-streaked face with the intense scrutiny only a twin could manage. "Happy tears or sad tears - which is it?"
Beth sniffled, swiping at her damp cheeks with the sleeve of her wool coat. "Confused tears?" Her voice wavered as she met her sister's concerned gaze. "We shifted together tonight. Whisper, she..." Beth's throat tightened. "She says he's our mate."
Naomi's eyes widened. "Oh! Oh, my!"
"Yeah." Beth leaned back against the door, her legs still feeling unsteady. "And the thing is, it felt right. Being with him in our animal forms, sharing that connection..." Fresh tears spilled down her cheeks. "But I'm terrified. After Neil, I never thought... And I know I didn't do that, but still…"
Her voice broke as Naomi pulled her into another fierce hug. Beth buried her face in her twin's shoulder, breathing in the familiar scent of home and safety as years of conditioning, grief, guilt, and hope tangled together in her chest.
Beth pulled back from her sister's embrace, wrapping her arms around herself as guilt clawed at her insides. "There's something else." Her voice came out barely above a whisper. "Something I've never told you… or anyone."
She sank down onto the bottom step, her legs no longer able to support her. Naomi settled beside her, their shoulders touching in silent support.
"Neil..." His name barely made it past the tightness in her throat. "I don't think... I didn't really love him. Not the way I should have." The confession burned her throat like acid. "I loved what he represented - freedom, normalcy, a chance to escape." Her voice cracked. "I used him."
Tears dripped onto her clasped hands. "He was so kind, so genuine in his feelings. And I... I convinced myself I felt the same way. But really, I saw him as our ticket out - for both of us. A way to break free from the family without having to run."
"Beth..." Naomi started, but Beth shook her head.
"No, let me finish. All this time, I've been drowning in grief and guilt over his death. But the worst part?" Her voice dropped to a broken whisper. "The worst part is knowing that I didn't love him the way he deserved, and now he's dead because of me. Because I was selfish enough to use his love as an escape plan."
Fresh tears spilled down her cheeks. "If I hadn't been so desperate for us to get away, if I hadn't dragged him into our mess... he'd still be alive. His blood is on my hands, even if I wasn't the one who actually killed him."
Naomi wrapped an arm around Beth's shoulders. "You know what Liam would say if he were here? That surviving isn't something to apologize for."
"This isn't about?—"
"But it is," Naomi interrupted gently. "You saw a chance to escape, and you took it. Anyone would have done the same."
Beth shook her head. "I was using him."
"Were you? Or maybe you were trying to love him the best way you knew how." Naomi's voice softened. "We never learned what healthy love looks like, Beth. How could we? But you're learning now."
She nudged Beth's shoulder with her own. "The fact you can recognize the difference between what you felt for Neil and what you're feeling for Tyr? That's growth. That's healing."
"What if I'm wrong about Tyr too?" Beth whispered.
"Then we'll face it together. But I don't think you are." Naomi smiled faintly. "Whisper recognized him as your mate. Our leopards don't lie about these things. Shadow and I both knew immediately with Liam, even when I was fighting it with everything I had."
Beth's eyes widened slightly. "You never told me that."
"Because I was terrified at the time. I was so afraid to trust," Naomi admitted. "But our leopards understand something we're only beginning to learn, because we were never taught to listen to them. They recognize what's right for us, what's true." She squeezed Beth's hand. "If Whisper knows Tyr is your mate, that's not something you need to question. It's something you can trust."
Naomi squeezed Beth's shoulder one last time before standing. "I'm going to make breakfast. You should grab a shower and get into your PJs then come eat before you try to sleep - food will help you process all this."
Beth watched her twin disappear into the kitchen, the soft sounds of cabinets opening and closing drifting back to her. She remained perched on the bottom step, her mind replaying the magical evening with Tyr. The way his falcon moved through the moonlit trees with such grace, how tenderly he'd shared that meal with her, the exhilarating freedom of running and flying together.
Her fingers drifted to her lips again, remembering the gentle pressure of his kiss. Whisper's certainty about him being their mate hummed through her blood - an unshakeable knowing that went bone-deep. For the first time since Neil's death, she felt truly alive, as if color was seeping back into a world that had been grey for so long.
The euphoria of the evening dissolved as Beth sat motionless on the step. Tyr would never age. His existence stretched beyond human comprehension, his body perpetually youthful while hers would follow the natural progression of time. The mathematical impossibility of their situation settled into her awareness, cold and unyielding.
Whisper's certainty about their mate collided with the reality of the situation. Their lifespans existed in different dimensions—his measured in centuries, hers in mere decades. It seemed a cruel irony. Shouldn't finding her mate—someone who understood both sides of her nature—bring pure joy? Why was she instead drowning in this complicated tangle of emotions?
And yet… Whisper purred softly within her consciousness, content with finding their mate, untroubled by practicalities.
The aroma of coffee and bacon drifted from the kitchen, and Beth inhaled deeply.
