Chapter 11
Internet cafés aregreat.
They’re even better with Hawaiian shaved ice and poke.
First, let me clear something up. We’re in Hilo, and that’s pronounced hee-low, not high-low, and a poke bowl is raw fish, not my finger in your eye. The locals call it po-kay, not po-kee or poke.
It consists of cubes of sushi-grade yellowfin tuna mixed with scallions, sesame seeds, and flakes of pink sea salt, all tossed over fragrant jasmine rice.
Then again, I doubt anyone other than tourists suck on shaved ice while nibbling on raw ahi tuna.
“You’re going to get parasites,” Jordan jeers from over his hot plate of crunchy katsu chicken. He picks a raw, gelatinous, dark-red cube of raw tuna from my plate and squints. “I think I see a worm in there.”
“Will you stop commenting on my food?” I swat his chopsticks, forcing him to drop the cube. It bounces under the table and the resident shop dog, a snaggle-toothed, wiry chihuahua gobbles it down. “Now look what you did. The dog’s going to get parasites.”
“Better than it being you.” Jordan swipes one of the computer screens and plays a video on a couple who went to Hawaii for their honeymoon only to contract rat lungworm infection. “There’s no cure.”
“I’ll take my chances,” I say blithely as I suck in a salty, spicy cube and crunch the sweet onions it goes with. “When in Hawaii, eat Hawaiian. Besides, if I get a parasite, I might lose weight.”
“You’ve got hardly anything to grab,” he complains and shifts in his seat—no doubt to relieve his uncomfortable and very blue balls.
I resist a retort, since we’re getting along so swellingly—as in literally swelling in all the sexual parts of our bodies.
But then, I’m due for a long, hot shower once we get back on board the S.S. Bird of Paradise, and I’m not quitting until the handheld showerhead gives me my jollies. Either that, or I have to remove the sound effects on my pleasure pistol.
I tamp down my self-love fantasies and flick my finger over the touch screen. “Now that we’re here, let’s Skype Jade and Aiden. Don’t forget to make her believe we’re having a better time than they are.”
He cheeses a smile which looks painful and goes back to dipping his crunchy chicken nuggets into a mayonnaise-based sauce. If he’s at all worried about Jade outing him for supposedly paying him, he doesn’t show it.
Then again, it’s not like Jade would admit it to me, either. Some bestie she turned out to be.
Her image pops onto the screen, and holy moly, she’s sitting in bed with Aiden, the hunky Navy SEAL she went on a blind date vacation with.
“Merry Christmas!” Jade and Aiden raise champagne glasses to toast us.
I quickly swallow a club of spicy raw tuna and raise my giant cup of red and green, or Li Hing Mui and Melona, shaved ice. “Before I wish you Merry Christmas, what’s the big idea ditching me on this cruise?”
“Would you rather be on a Christmas cruise with your best girlfriend or with the man of your dreams?” Jade giggles and sips the champagne, then kisses Aiden.
I gulp down a big chunk of shaved ice, and my palate goes numb. The blob of cold hits the back of my throat and sends a blast of chilly pain up my sinus cavities, through my temples, and shooting behind my eyes.
“Yeoch!” I clamp my mouth shut and pinch the ache between my eyebrows. “I just caught brain freeze.”
Beside me, Jordan laughs. “Hey, cousin, we’re having a ball here. Thanks for picking up all the charges.”
I blink with disbelief.
Is Jordan admitting that Jade paid him to make me happy? Does he not care at all? Or is he paying me back for pretending to mouth his dick through his jeans?
I slam a fist to the table, shocking both Jade and Aiden from their kissy faces. “Did you pay for Jordan to make me happy?”
“Is he making you happy?” Jade always does this. Answer a question with a question.
I can play the same game, too. “Did you expect him to make me happy or to annoy me?”
“Are you annoyed on top and happy on the bottom?” she asks while caressing Aiden’s bare chest. “Or is it the reverse?”
She pushes him into a prone position and laps up on top of him. Thankfully, they are clothed—in lingerie and towels.
