“The worst part of it was that I lied to him when he finally contacted me.” She kept her eyes on her favorite mare—a fiery chestnut named Reina. “Why do I do stupid things likethat?”
“You were running.” Her father chewed on his words, letting each one come out in a slow drawl. “Running from thetruth.”
“There’s no excuse.” Linx hefted a sigh. “I’m simply a bad person. I got pissed at him for not caring, so Ilied.”
“Suspect you were hurt. Like your mom washurt.”
Linx’s stomach clenched and the air left her lungs. “Hurt? What could she possibly be hurt about? She left because of me, because you stuck up for me and that stupid reddress.”
Her father pressed his hand on her shoulder. He still stared at the horses. “Wasn’t because of that. She wanted to love you, but it hurt, so she left—easier that way. Just like you gave Jessie away and lied to Grady. Easier to pretend it neverhappened.”
“No, that wasn’t the reason. I’m nothing like her.” Linx’s heart roiled with fury. “I would never leave my family. My children. Seven of us. I gave Jessie away because I wanted a better life for her, not because I washurt.”
“You lied to Grady because it was easier to send himaway.”
“He wouldn’t have believed me.” Linx swallowed back a sob. “He thought the worst of me, that I’m a liar, have a bad temper, an evil and blackheart.”
Her father turned his flinty eyes on her. “After Jessie was born, you could have had the court order a paternitytest.”
“I know, but I just wanted it over and done with. What if he can’t get Jessie back?” She covered her face as tears leaked from between her fingers. “He’ll never forgiveme.”
“Maybe he already has,” her father mumbled. “I’ve forgiven yourmother.”
“For leaving all of us? But that’s you, Dad. You’re loving and kind-hearted. You’re asaint.”
“Not a saint.” Her father rubbed her back and pulled her into an embrace. “Just a man who understands why sheleft.”
“Why?” Linx leaned against her father’s solid warmth. “Why did she leave? Was it me? Did she hate me somuch?”
“She saw herself in you, but no, she didn’t hateyou.”
“She left because of me, didn’t she?” Linx’s heart pounded with a heavy dread. “It was me and my bad temper. I told her I hated her. It was myfault.”
“Not your fault.” Father’s voice wasgruff.
“Then why did she leave? I don’tunderstand.”
“It’s not my secret to tell. You’ll have to ask her.” He kissed the top of her head, and pinched her cheekgently.
“I can’t ask her if I can’t find her.” Linx could barely get the words out between her sobs. Except her mother had made contact—sortof.
“She doesn’t much like talking. She needs her space—like a wild horse. Can’t pen herin.”
Dark rage boiled deep in Linx’s gut, and she clenched her fists at the excuses her father gave, as if he cared more about her mother than his sevenchildren.
“I still hate her. Unless you tell me her secret, I will always hateher.”
“Remember that woman who drowned all her kids?” Father took off his Stetson and picked at the rim. “Perhaps running away saved your life. Maybe it was the best thing she could have done foryou.”
“She wanted to kill me?” Linx staggered, grabbing onto the railfence.
“She needed help, and she refused to get it.” He held Linx up and led her from the corral. “Despite it all, I believe she loved all ofyou.”
“Evenme?”
“Even you.” His deep cowboy voice sounded so reassuring, and he’d never lied toher.
“Am I nuts also? Do I need help?” Linx hardly dared to raise hereyes.
