A light came back into Cedar’s eyes, and her head snapped up with an eagerlook.
“You want me to take you back to Linx, don’tyou?”
Cedar wagged the tip of her tail and leaped to her feet, shaking herself as if to go rightaway.
Maybe his dog was right. Maybe he, also, should go back to Linx and ask for another chance. Swallow his pride and bury thehatchet.
He was hurting as much as the dog, and if he was honest with himself, he hadn’t exactly treated Linx fairly. True, he had no idea how a woman felt being pregnant and alone, and he’d always assumed they wanted to trap him, as if he were the bigprize.
How wrong he was. He was no prize—just a has-beenfirefighter.
But he could still do something forher.
He could give Cedar back, and he could volunteer at the rescue center. He could be nicer to her, for a change, and then, maybe, he’d get over this big fat ache in hisheart.
If he was in love, he was in trouble. It was going to hurt either way—with or without Linx, because the way his heart was, he could never fall out ofit.
Damn hisheart.
“Okay, let’s take you back to your mommy.” Grady hugged Sasha and let her lick his face. “I’m going to miss you. You were always my puppy. My little lostpuppy.”
So much like Linx, a lostpuppy.
Now, where did that thought comefrom?
Cedar’s worried, lost expression the moment Linx had left her was exactly the same as that crestfallen abandoned look Linx had given him when he told her their fairy tale wasover.
She was nineteen and had her entire life in front of her, and he was twenty-two, at his physical peak. He couldn’t settle down, even if it was with a fellow smokejumper, and have her tagging along to all the stations around theworld.
Respect for women wasn’t universal around the world, and the facilities were primitive in many of the outposts. Sometimes, they had to live off the land, hunting and fishing for food, and hike back to base, instead of being picked up byhelicopters.
The men were gross and sexist, and he couldn’t have protected her everywhere theywent.
Besides, he wasn’t the type to get tied down, especially so young. The excuses looped through his mind, sounding hollower andhollower.
He couldn’t get past the fact that her dates were off. If she was pregnant, it wasn’t his. Impossible since he was already halfway around the world at the estimated time ofconception.
He’d plugged in all the possible dates at the online pregnancy calculator website, and there was no way, no how, he could have been thefather.
But, then again, Salem also accused him of fathering her baby, and her range of dates was so wide that any number of guys could have doneit.
Damn. Grady slapped his forehead. If Salem’s baby were his, then her dying caused his baby to die too. Had what he’d told her before the jump caused her accident? Or was it worse—hersuicide?
The weight over his shoulders pressed like sacks of lead pellets, suffocating him with gnawingregret.
It was time to stop sowing wild oats, and time to act like a responsible man—a Hart man who took responsibility seriously and never let anyonedown.
A chilling thought drilled fangs of ice throughhim.
How many babies had he lost? Or had he caused to die? How many of those false pregnancy claims had been true? He should never have sown any wild oats, because each one was an individual—a little boy or girl—a tiny Hart—his flesh and blood—family.
“Let’s go, Cedar.” Grady sighed and opened the trailer door. Cedar jumped over the small steel steps with a spring in hertrot.
When Grady opened the door of his truck, Cedar eagerly hopped in, happy that she was going back toLinx.
He got into the driver’s seat and patted her. “We used to be so tight. Me and you. Found you behind my woodpile. You were just a tiny puppy. God knows how you survived the fire, but you did. I would have looked for you, but I was taken to the hospital. You must have had smoke inhalation, too. She took good care of you, didn’tshe?”
It was always easier to talk to his dog than to people. Dogs understood and they listened. But most of all, they simply accepted. Andtrusted.
