“After Christmas, the entire village planted a candy cane farm and lived happily ever after.” Cait panned the picture book slowly in front of the rapt toddlers. They were sitting in a booth next to Santa’s throne where the children who’d already seen Santa could get a story and a treat.
“Did they have candy canes every day?” a little boy asked.
“Yes, they did.” Cait put the book down and passed out candy canes to each child sitting around the circle. “Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas.”
A little girl raised her hand. “Can you read it again?Candy Cane Farmis my favorite story.”
“It’s mine too,” Cait said. “But the festival’s over. Would you like to take the book home?”
“Yes.” The little girl grabbed the book and gave her a hug. “Thank you. I promise to read it every night.”
Cait watched as each parent claimed their child, and they walked away chattering excitedly about Santa, the candy, lights, and horses. Christmas as seen through the eyes of a child was magical and special. It had been a long time since she’d believed in Santa or dreamed of gingerbread houses.
Instead, her life was filled with helping her brothers and sisters with their life problems and keeping her parents happy. As for Brian, he required a lot of space. He didn’t show much emotion, and most of the time, he was in another world—either playing video games or communing with himself in nature.
Cait kept a smile pasted on her face as she packed up the remaining books. The festival ended with a fireworks show, but she had no one to watch it with. The skies lit up with whirs and booms, and she could hear the ohhs and ahhs of the crowd. In her mind’s eyes, she pictured her sisters kissing their fiancés, her brother with his wife on his lap, holding her close, and her parents holding hands.
Since she wasn’t watching the fireworks, she schlepped the books, decorations, and donation boxes back to her car, making several trips with a borrowed shopping cart. The last of the fireworks ended with a symphony of colorful blasts, and she was glad she was able to escape the crowded parking area early.
As she drove back to her house, Cait glanced at the fog rolling in and wondered whether Brian had a clear starry night high up in the mountains. When she was young, she never liked going to the cabin because it was so remote. No television and not even a telephone.
Things hadn’t changed since then. The cabin was too remote for cellular coverage and tucked away in a two-acre private lot behind a pine forest near a creek. It was the perfect place for someone like Brian to get away from his stressful job as a San Francisco firefighter.
Cait swallowed an ache in her heart. The cabin was also a perfect place for him to get away from her.
She sat at the stoplight and checked the gas gauge. Her sisters didn’t want to talk about their weddings this weekend, and her brothers had hot dates. Connor was happily married and expecting a baby, and her parents acted like they were on a perpetual honeymoon. The festival had been a success, and she was sure the coffers were overflowing with donations.
No one needed her or wanted her. Everyone was happy and content, except for Brian who’d seemed more withdrawn than usual. He hadn’t been sleeping well ever since his favorite high school teacher passed away and bequeathed him the antique fire truck.
Mrs. Thornton was one of those cool teachers who gave lots of projects and competitions, then had parties at her house to reward the winners. She’d made government fun, chaired the debate team and ran the drama club. Fun and vivacious, she was popular and down to earth, despite being married to a senator twice her age.
She was also the person Brian credited with helping him decide to be a fireman. He’d been an awkward teenager, painfully shy, but Mrs. Thornton had believed in him and encouraged him. Her death had to have been a big blow to Brian, especially since he’d lost his parents at such a young age.
Cait slapped herself on the forehead. How stupid and selfish she’d been. Her sisters were sick of her, and her brothers wanted her out of their business. Meanwhile, her husband suffered right under her nose, and she hadn’t lifted a finger to give him aid or comfort.
Decision made, Cait unloaded her car and packed her bags. She left a note on the refrigerator, letting her parents know she was going to the cabin.
Brian would be surprised and relieved to see her. She’d be extra nice to him, too, and even cook him a casserole. Maybe, if she got lucky, he’d unload his heart to her and let her comfort him. It was the least she could do for him after all these years of marriage.
