“Right.” He shuffled his feet and kicked at the pine cones littering the trail.
“You still want to go? I thought it would be nice for us to spend time together, but not if you have other things to do.”
“I want to stay with you.” He tugged her into his arms. “If I hadn’t left you to drive by yourself, you wouldn’t have hurt yourself. Every time I think about it, I feel sick. You could have been killed. I could be standing here alone. You’re the only person who understands me, now that Alana is dead.”
“Uggh.” Cait squeezed her eyes shut and shuddered. “Don’t ever compare me with that woman. I’m not sure she really understood you either, going around diagnosing you and manipulating you.”
“She helped me.”
“No, she helped herself and used you.” Cait pushed back from his arms, and he felt a cold chill prick goosebumps over his shoulders. “When we go home, we should go for counseling. I think it’ll help both of us deal with this.”
“I don’t need to talk about her to anyone.” Brian’s gut tightened. “She’s not here anymore.”
“But what she did to you affects you.” Cait pursed her lips. “Look, we’re wasting time arguing here. We need to talk to someone and get the DNA test for Glen, and I think it’ll help all of us, including Glen, if we get the help of a family therapist in addition to a lawyer.”
“We get the lawyer first and worry about all the talking later.” Brian didn’t see the logic behind talking about feelings that no longer mattered. Alana was dead. What difference would it make how he felt?
She gave him a close-mouthed smile. “Okay, then, let’s get back to San Francisco. I’ll have to board the dogs again with Linx. We’ll get through this together, I promise.”
She spoke as if they were a team, and Brian’s heart melted—just a little bit. She wanted to help him, and she was willing to give up Christmas for him. Was this also part of being in love?
If so, he’d better imitate her and give something up for her.
“Let’s stay here until after Christmas. The lawyers are probably on vacation anyway, and you’re right. We can’t do anything until we get a DNA test.”
“You sure?” She tapped his chest. “I don’t want you worrying about Glen the entire time.”
“Don’t worry. Glen’s a smart kid. He’ll be okay.”
“True, and we shouldn’t be upsetting him before Christmas, especially since it’s the first one without his mother. Let him spend Christmas with the only father he knows. It’s important for him to hold onto family, even if we think it’s not the ideal one.”
“Then, in that case, should we return the dogs?”
Cait glanced at the two dogs, who’d settled down in the pine and spruce needles. Melia rolled around while Sierra sniffed around the bushes.
“No, not if the senator wants to get rid of them. It’ll only cause more problems, and we may never find them again. These dogs will help Glen heal from his mother’s death, and I’ve got the feeling they’ll help us get to know Glen.”
“You’re really ready to accept him?” Brian reached down and patted Sierra’s mane. “You speak as if we’ll all be together someday.”
Cait squatted down on the ground near Melia and rubbed her belly. “I love my family. I really do, but I wanted a family with you. When I married you, I thought we’d have an instant family.”
She trailed off and let Melia lick her face.
He knew about her predicament. It was what had emboldened him to ask her to marry him. She’d needed him, and even though at the end, she no longer needed his name or presence, she’d stayed with him.
He coughed and cleared his throat. “I was ready to accept your little one.”
She turned her face up at him and swallowed, her eyes solemn and large. “You knew?”
Getting down on his knees, he hugged her close and nodded. “I’m the only one who knew.”
“I’m not ready to talk about it,” Cait hiccupped and wiped her eyes. “I wish no one knew.”
He held her tighter as she burst into tears. He might be clueless and unable to think the way others did, but he was also the best person to keep secrets, since he didn’t feel the need to talk. Alana knew her secret was safe with him, and he would never reveal Cait’s either.
