“Don’t mind him,” Kory said to Riley. “This idiot doesn’t know that dinosaurs were extinct long before humans evolved.”
“Speaking of evolution, this one missed a few steps,” Jasmine hissed, looking at Lance like he was gum on a pair of Ferragamos.
“What’s your problem, old lady? Did you lose at bingo?” Lance taunted. He pulled out a vape pen and blew a cloud into Jasmine’s face.
Riley tightened her hold on her friend.
“Yeah, Lance! You tell her,” crowed the second crony. This one was well over six feet tall and had a face not even a mother could love.
“Is this what growth hormones in meat and dairy do?” Riley muttered.
“I have a theory that he was dropped on his head repeatedly,” Kory said.
“Old bitch says what?” Lance said, bouncing back and forth on the balls of his feet, his hands balled into fists.
Riley flinched as he threw a few shadowbox punches at her face. “Back off,” she said more calmly than she felt.
“Granny wants us to back off,” Tall Idiot said.
Lance threw a few more punches in her direction that came close enough for her to feel the breeze.
Jasmine jumped between them and stabbed her finger in Lance’s chest. “I’m going to kick you in the dick with my pointiest shoes so hard your bloodline ends with you.”
Lance frowned. “Huh?”
“He thinks babies still come from storks,” Kory said from behind Riley.
“You wanna say that to my face, you little bitch?” Lance howled. “How about I tape your mouth shut and lock you in the janitor’s closet again for the day?”
“You think you’re a man because you’ve got six hairs on your upper lip?” Jasmine snarled. “You’re nothing but a teeny, tiny little boy who deep down knows that he’s nothing but a loser.”
“A loser? Aloser?” Body Odor squealed. “Bitch, my boy Lance here gets laid on the regular by college girls.”
“Yeah, yeah,” Tall Idiot said, bobbing his head. “Lance got scouted by the NBA, and he’s not even on the high school basketball team.”
“They’re all idiots,” Kory explained wearily. “Why can’t you just leave me alone, Lance?”
Lance glared at her over Jasmine and Riley’s shoulders. “Because you tried to take me down. Now you’re gonna pay.”
He stuffed the vape pen into his pocket and then pulled out a pocket knife. “Maybe I’ll have my friends here hold you down and cut your hair.”
“And maybe I’ll call the cops ’cause that sounds like you’re about to assault my friend here,” Riley said.
“Who’s gonna believe you over me? Huh, skank?” He waved the dull blade in her face.
“Why don’t you call the cops, Ry, and I’ll sue him for being a dickless moron?” Jasmine suggested.
“You got a death wish, Granny?” Lance snarled.
“Mr. Rhinehard, unless you’re looking to be nominated for in-school suspension and student counseling, I suggest you go the hell home.” This came from a haggard-looking man dressed in wrinkled Dockers and a darker beige sweater.
Lance sneered. “What are you gonna do about it? My dad can make your tenure go away like that.” He tried to snap his fingers but failed, so Body Odor stepped up to do it for him.
“Uh-oh. Mr. Volch has crazy eyes again,” Kory observed. “We should probably go.”
Mr. Volch waved his arms to encompass the school. “Do I look like I care about keeping this job? Do you think it’s my dream to try to cram information into tiny little pea brains like yours while smelling BO all damn day? Put on some goddamn deodorant for once, Troy,” the teacher shouted, shoving his hands into his already unruly hair and pulling on the ends until it stood straight up.
“Let’s get out of here,” Riley said, pulling Kory and Jasmine toward the Jeep.
