Josie cocked her head. “So we’re officially back in business?”
“Yes. Not that we were ever officially out of business,” he added quickly. “But we will be resuming normal gigs immediately.”
Riley noticed a lot of long looks being exchanged in the room, and no one looked very happy.
“This is bullshit!” Mrs. Penny yelled.
“That was not the reaction I was expecting,” Nick said, looking at Riley.
She shrugged. “Beats me.”
The leaf blower started again, and so did the flashes from the foyer.
“I’m closing in on the Dog Doody Bandit! I just had two hundred of these freaking posters made.” Mrs. Penny held up a hot-pink flyer.
“‘If you see doody, say doody,’” Riley read out loud. The Santiago Investigations phone number was at the bottom. “Oh, boy.”
“Okay, fine. You stay on the Dog Doody Bandit. Everyone else can get back to your regularly scheduled gigs, and I’ll work on getting our phone number changed,” Nick shouted.
Josie and Brian shared another look. “Uh, actually, boss, I think we’d like to follow through on our cases too,” Josie said at full volume.
“You’re fucking with me as payback, aren’t you?” Nick asked.
The leaf blower cut off again.
“Not this time,” Brian insisted. “I finally hacked into Gym Rat’s dating app account. Turns out he’s a naughty bank vice president who’s been sending unsolicited dick pics to his female matches. And as someone who’s actually seen him in the shower at the gym, that’s not his dick.”
“False advertising!” Mrs. Penny shouted into her glass. “Automatic jail time.”
“Do you have any idea how the justice system works?” Nick asked blandly.
“Anyway,” Brian continued, “I’m working on a pretty badass takedown involving his LinkedIn account and his work email.”
“Me and Esther have a sting planned for her stupid grandson tonight,” Josie said. “We’re gonna bust him with a clown down his pants. She said I can scare the hell out of him. And you know how much I love scaring people.”
“It’s one of the five whole things you like in this world,” Nick said.
“Exactly. If you can handle the armed security, I can focus on nailing Junior to the wall and scaring him straight.”
He looked incredulous. “You’re seriously turning down a paying gig that requires you to carry guns so you can save an old lady’s clown collection?”
“I’d just like to clarify that you’re not actually nailing anyone to a literal wall, right?” Riley asked.
“Yes.”
Riley waved her hands. “Yes, you’re seriously turning down a paying gig, or yes, you’re literally nailing someone to a wall?”
“Now I know you’re fucking with me,” Nick said.
Riley noticed his bruised eye was starting to twitch again.
“I know you gave us these cases as a ‘fuck you,’” Brian said. “But I gotta admit, I’m having fun playing hacker vigilante.”
Nick scrubbed a hand over his face. “Fine. Whatever the fuck you want. How long do you guys need to wrap up your…” He glanced in Mrs. Penny’s direction. “Primocases?”
“I need twenty-four hours to set everything in motion,” Brian said.
Josie nodded. “I can have Junior pissing his pants in twelve hours.”
