Blossom nudged an ashtray with smoking herbs out of her way and got out of her chair. “Happy Birthday, Nick.” She gave him a hug and a kiss.
“Thanks, Blossom.”
Wander handed him a piece of cake. “We didn’t think you should have to do cleanup on your birthday.”
“And we thought you would enjoy a quiet celebration with cake,” Gabe said.
Nick avoided looking directly at the man and seemed extremely uncomfortable. “Ah, yeah. Thanks, man.”
“Is something wrong?” Riley asked him.
“He is embarrassed about our genitalia touching last evening,” Gabe explained.
“We said we were never going to speak of it again,” Nick reminded him.
“I am sorry. I am not used to feeling shame toward my body.”
The man was so happy he was practically glowing. Riley noticed her sister was even more radiant than usual too. They kept sharing shy, smiley glances. It looked like things were finally progressing with the happy couple.
“What’s with all the candy?”
“Mrs. Penny stole all of the neighborhood candy to set the trap for the Dog Doody Bandit,” Josie explained.
The front door flew open, and Mrs. Penny bounded inside. “I did it! I solved the case!”
“Speak of the devil,” Riley said.
“You caught the Dog Doody Bandit?” Nick asked.
“Dog Doody Bandit?” Mrs. Penny scoffed. “You sound like an idiot. There’s no such thing as the Dog Doody Bandit.”
“Two hundred flyers printed with my business phone number beg to differ,” Nick said.
“I got dashcam footage from one of the guests last night right up until someone shot out their windshield.”
“Someone?Someoneshot out their windshield?” Nick prompted.
“Well, the footage stopped recording when the bullet hit the camera. Guess we’ll never know who did it,” Mrs. Penny said innocently.
“But you did find the person responsible for the poop?” Riley asked.
“Person? Don’t you know anything about digestion?” Mrs. Penny harumphed.
“Are you saying the Dog Doody Bandit wasn’t human?”
“Not human and not even a dog. Take a look at this.” She tossed her cell phone at Nick and took his cake.
Riley peered over his shoulder and watched the footage of the front of their house. “There’s a couple of trick-or-treaters,” she said.
“Keep watching,” Mrs. Penny said, shoveling cake into her face.
While the party raged on inside, Riley watched a furry white blob appear on the porch roof, shimmy down one of the columns, and paw through the overflowing candy bowl. Satisfied with its haul, it waddled toward the steps, paused in a squat, and then climbed back up to the second floor, where it disappeared.
“The Dog Doody Bandit is a possum,” Nick said.
“Oh my God. Nick, that possum is our roommate,” Riley said. “It’s been living in the ducting behind the Creepy, Smelly Closet. Something with glowing eyes hissed at Royce last night and scared him enough to distract him.”
Nick’s eye started to twitch again. “I can’t believe a possum and a prisoner saved your life while I was locked in my office with a hard-on. I’m ripping that fucking door out today.”
