“Oh, Nick, such a funny man with a perky fanny,” Lily said before turning to Riley. “Here. Try this.” She stuffed a cupcake into Riley’s mouth.
“Mmm. Good,” Riley said, handing the other half to Jasmine.
“The house is too drafty, what with the whole not-having-a-roof thing,” Fred explained. His toupee, this one a dark brown with a center part, had green frosting in it.
“I heard ghostly noises all night last night. Thumping and swearing,” Lily said. “I think we might have a poltergeist. Isn’t that exciting?”
“Very exciting,” Riley said, handing Nick and Jasmine extra large mugs of coffee before pouring one for herself.
“I thought you were getting the roof fixed,” Nick prompted. “I gave you the names of three reputable contractors.”
“Well, the first one quit because the crew didn’t like being ogled,” Fred told them.
“Ogled?” Riley asked, knowing she was going to regret the question.
“Yeah. Lily and Mrs. Penny sat out in the parking lot in lawn chairs and ranked the workers with numbered signs.”
“Lily, remind me to explain sexual harassment to you again,” Riley said on a yawn.
“The second contractor was trying to scam us out of money,” Lily said, squirting black frosting onto a cupcake and the stove top. “She pretended like the whole roof, including the trusses, needed to be rebuilt and replaced. Can you believe that nonsense?”
“It does and they do,” Nick argued.
“That roof held up for three generations. I don’t see why now all of a sudden it needs to be replaced,” Lily insisted.
“Seventy years isnotall of a sudden.”
“Don’t worry. Willicott and I took a look, and those trusses are fit as a fiddle,” Fred said.
Nick rolled his eyes. “If you don’t get it fixed, the whole roof is going to collapse, and you’ll all end up as walking pancakes.”
Lily patted him on the cheek. “You’re such a good boy to be concerned about us.”
“I’ll get a contractor over here tomorrow, and you willnotscare them off. Got it?”
“Just make sure they’re cute and not running a scam,” Lily insisted.
“What are the cupcakes for anyway?” Nick asked.
Lily giggled nervously.
“Well, they’re definitelynotfor a surprise party,” Fred said. He gave Riley an exaggerated wink.
As if on cue, Mr. Willicott put down his streamers and held up a sign that saidSurprise.
Riley snapped her fingers. “Charlie Chaplin!”
Mr. Willicott twitched his nose. The fake mustache moved back and forth on his upper lip.
“Oooooh,” Nick said. “I thought he was civilian Hitler.”
Mr. Willicott gave him the middle finger, causing Riley to sputter into her coffee.
The doorbell rang, and Nick and Riley shared a glance.
“I hope it’s not another body part,” she whispered.
Nick put down his coffee and unholstered his gun again. “Only one way to find out.”
