“I feel slightly less like death,” he admitted.
“Well, hurry up with the reincarnation because our friendly delivery guy brought some NDAs and a severed finger for your sister. And after your brother-in-law got done hurling his guts out, he climbed out the bathroom window in his pajamas.”
“I have no sister. I have no brother-in-law. I have no family. These people are strangers to me.”
“Then you don’t care if we call the cops and tell them everything? Including the part where your long-lost ex-sister and key witness to an unsolved crime came home not dead and you didn’t take her straight into interrogation. Now she’s being threatened with severed body parts, not answering her phone, and she’s got a dossier on some mob boss’s wife in her room,” Nick prompted.
Kellen put his head on the counter. “I hate everyone.”
“How about we put the finger back in the crisper, and I make you some breakfast?” Riley suggested. The hollandaise on the stove was a lost cause, but she could at least make some toast.
“What’s the point of eating? I have to choose between the career I’ve dedicated myself to for over a decade and the sister who faked her own kidnapping and/or death without telling me.”
“I didn’t say it was a good choice,” Nick pointed out.
Riley slid a mug of coffee into Kellen’s line of sight.
Nick came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her.
“Did I really break up with my mother yesterday?” Kellen asked.
“You did,” she said with sympathy. “Do you remember anything else?”
“I remember one old lady trying to sit in my lap at the piano to play show tunes. The other one kept asking to see my gun.”
His eyes opened wide in evident panic as he patted his pockets before relaxing.
“Do you remember kissing someone?”
Nick tensed against her. “Did this asshole kiss you?”
“He didn’t kiss me,” Riley said.
“Oh, God. I kissed an elderly woman, didn’t I?”
“It’s possible,” Riley said. “I left after you and Lily did that duet of ‘Moon River.’”
“Who else would I have kissed if it wasn’t an octogenarian or you?” Kellen asked.
Riley watched as the realization dawned slowly.
“Oh no. That’s not good,” he groaned.
“Who did he kiss? His mom?” Nick demanded.
“Worse,” Kellen moaned.
31
9:01 a.m., Tuesday, October 29
While Riley took Burt for his morning constitutional, Nick and Kellen faced off alone in the kitchen.
“What are you doing?” Nick asked as Kellen pulled out his phone.
“What does it look like I’m doing? I’m calling this in.”
Nick snatched the phone from his friend. “You’re not calling it in.”
