“The Dog Doody Bandit,” she repeated. “You know how some weirdos leave snacks out for delivery drivers?”
“It’s nice, not weird,” Riley interjected.
“It’s weird,” Mrs. Penny insisted. “Anyway, someone’s been stealing the snacks and then leaving dog crap behind. All over the neighborhood! This punk has ruined a lot of shoes. No one knows when the bandit will strike next. I say we catch him in the act and make him eat the doody!” She punched a fist into her palm for emphasis.
The room was uncomfortably quiet.
“Who thinks we shouldn’t take on any of theseprimocases?” Nick asked.
Everyone but Mrs. Penny raised their hands.
“And who owns this business?” he continued. Everyone’s hands went down. He and Mrs. Penny raised theirs.
“Congratulations. We officially have a full case load. Josie, you’re on the knickknacks.”
“But I hate the elderly and knickknacks,” she complained.
“Bri, you get to make sure the gym rat looks like a rat.”
His cousin bared his teeth at him. “You’re kidding me, right?”
Nick ignored him. “Penny, you’re on the doody.”
“Yes!” She gave a celebratory fist pump.
“Thorn.” Nick’s gaze landed on his pretty psychic girlfriend, who should have warned him that he was facing a mutiny. “You’ve been wanting to get more involved in investigations. Congratulations. It’s your lucky day. You get Lance the bully.”
Riley raised an eyebrow at him, and he was eighty-seven percent sure he was in trouble.
“Iwanted the bully,” Josie grumbled.
“And I wanted a team that wasn’t a bunch of whiny pains in my ass,” Nick countered. “I guess none of us are getting what we want.”
“Hang on,” Brian said, holding up his hands. “How are we going to make any money off these cases?”
“It’s part of the seven touches. Duh,” Mrs. Penny announced.
“Who are we touching and can we use weapons?” Josie asked.
“It’s marketing law, dummies. Nobody buys anything unless they’ve tried it seven times for free,” Mrs. Penny said.
Nick was ninety-nine percent sure that was bullshit.
“So you’re suggesting in order to make money, we don’t chargeanyonefor our services,” Riley reiterated carefully.
“Exactly. Every potential client gets seven free cases, and then we charge them for the eighth,” Mrs. Penny said proudly. “Think of us like a drug dealer with a new supply of Disco Biscuit. You wanna get your clientele hooked so you give ’em seven freebies.”
“Disco Biscuit?” Riley repeated. “I’m so old.”
“And you’re okay with this, Nicky?” Brian clarified.
“Why wouldn’t I be?” Nick challenged.
Josie stepped out from behind his desk and glared him down. “You’re going to regret this, Santiago,” she said, jamming her index finger into a pressure point on his chest.
It instantly took him to his knees. “Ow!”
“Leave him alone, babe. You know what he’s like when he gets in this mood,” Brian said and drew his wife back.
