Wander quietly took the floor cushion next to Gabe. Riley noticed that their knees were touching.
“Since you all feel that brute force is the only way to defend yourselves, it is up to me to show you another way. But be warned, this is a grueling training. Not for the weak.”
“I’m gonna go find a Blockbuster and rent a movie,” Mr. Willicott announced and headed for the door.
Lily jumped out of her chair. “I should help. The last time he went looking for a Blockbuster, we didn’t see him for three days.”
Blossom raised her hand.
“What?” Elanora snapped, pronouncing every letter in the word, including the ‘H.’
“I was just wondering what we’re protecting ourselves from, Mom.”
“Your daughter has been targeted by a murderer.”
Blossom turned to Riley. “Oh, come on. Again?”
Riley shrugged. “It’s not my fault, Mom.”
“It most assuredly is your fault. Predators sense prey,” her grandmother announced.
“If we could move beyond the bashing my girlfriend phase of the morning, that would be great,” Nick snapped.
“Everyone has the gift. Some gifts are smaller than others,” Elanora said.
Fred held up his hand. “When you say ‘gift,’ are you talking about penis size?”
Riley pressed her lips together. She didn’t know if it was laughter or barf that wanted to escape, and she wasn’t taking any chances.
Her grandmother’s withering stare had no effect on Fred. He merely leaned forward and said, “Well? Are you?”
“I am most certainlynot. I am talking about the gift of clairvoyance.”
“Oh.” Fred sounded disappointed.
“It is available to each of you so long as you aren’t too lazy to work at it.”
“Now we’re definitely talking about penis size,” Fred decided.
To prevent emotional scarring, Riley focused on her dad’s head as it bopped from side to side.
“You will pair up for a demonstration. You two”—she pointed to Riley and Gabe— “are a team.”
Wander looked longingly in Gabe’s direction before Mrs. Penny dragged her chair over. “Looks like it’s you and me, Stretch McFlex.”
Nick was paired with Canon. “I don’t think that’s such a good idea,” Riley whispered.
“Do not question my judgment, child!” Elanora sealed her edict with a thwack on the floor.
Riley and Gabe shifted on their floor pillows to face each other. “If they start fighting, I might need you to break it up,” she said to him.
“I will punch Nick in the face again and sit on Canon,” Gabe promised.
“You’re a good man, Gabe.”
“Silence!”
Riley rolled her eyes.
