“This body is not meant to sleep on the floor,” Nick groaned.
“Yeah? Well, this body isn’t meant to fall through a roof with a penis inside it.” The more awake she became, the less vague the soreness in her lady part region got.
Nick flashed her the dimples, but she shook her head. “No. It’s too early for charm. Drink your coffee eggs,” she said, handing him the plate of soggy breakfast.
“Why do you get the non-coffee eggs?” he pouted.
“Because my upper body didn’t cast a spell on Lily,” Riley said. She cocked her head to study him. “Are you getting more ripped?”
He seemed somehow bigger and leaner. He’d never been a slouch in the muscles department, but there was definitely something going on with his upper body. Even his tattoos seemed bigger.
As any man would, Nick flexed. “You like what you see?”
“Put the gun show away,” Mrs. Penny grumbled as she stalked into the room. She poked him in the chest with her cane.
“Is that any way to speak to your boss?” Riley asked, taking a bite of toast.
“What’s my assignment today?”
“You’re taking a gun safety class,” Nick told her.
“I don’t need a stinking safety class!”
“You shot out a ceiling last night. And two months ago, you blew out Lily’s bedroom door when you thought Riley was an intruder.”
“She used the code. We were under a Cabbage Casserole,” Mrs. Penny insisted.
“I’ve been thinking—” Fred appeared and seemed to be mid-conversation. He’d gone with his Justin Bieber toupee this morning. “We need a new code word.”
Mrs. Penny’s beady eyes lit up behind her thick prescription lenses. “Good thinking.”
“A code word for what?” Riley asked. “No one’s broken in here in weeks.”
“That’s not a safety record I’d brag about,” Nick pointed out.
“A code word so I don’t come running to investigate a noise with a loaded Beretta,” Mrs. Penny explained.
“We weren’t in any condition to send out a text before you came upstairs and tried to shoot us,” Riley said. But Mrs. Penny and Fred already had their heads together over possible code words.
“Good morning,” Gabe said, appearing in the doorway.
“Are your muscles getting bigger too?” Riley asked, cocking her head.
Lily jumped out from behind Gabe and wrapped her hands around one beefy bicep. “Ooooh! They are!”
“Are you two working out together or something?” Riley asked.
Nick shrugged. “Maybe we did some push-ups or whatever.”
“Nick is very bad at counting repetitions. But he puts forth a reasonable effort to hone his body,” Gabe announced.
“I need more coffee for this,” Riley decided, taking Nick’s plate from him and pouring some into her cup.
“I’ll make more coffee and eggs if someone brings in the packages from the porch,” Lily said, scampering back to the kitchen.
“I’ll get the packages,” Riley said.
She stepped out onto the porch and eyed the stack of deliveries. Between Mrs. Penny, Lily, and Nick, the residents of the house were on a first-name basis with the UPS, FedEx, and Amazon drivers. Lily had also ranked each of the driver’s butts on a scale involving firmness and shape.
