He finally pressed himself back up to standing and, stroking Harper’s back, pulled out slowly. He watched as a sticky wetness coursed down the inside of her thighs, evidence of how hard he came. Never in his life had it been like this. She chased away the dark and brought him to the light. He felt something loosen in his chest.
She was still silent. He had never known Harper to be this quiet this long. Not even in her sleep.
“Harper.” Luke pulled her to standing and slowly turned her around to face him. Her knees buckled and he caught her. Then he spotted the tears. “Oh, baby. I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry. Did I hurt you?” He gathered her in and stroked her. She shook her head against him.
“I didn’t hurt you?”
She shook her head again, and curled closer to him. He lifted her and carried her to the worn leather couch in the corner. “Did I scare you?”
She shook her head and wrapped her arms around him.
He sat down, cradling her in his lap. “Tell me, baby. What’s wrong?”
Harper lifted her head and cupped his face in her hands. “I think I love you,” she sighed pitifully. “And don’t you dare tell me this is why you didn’t want to have sex.”
His hands stilled on her skin for the briefest of moments before resuming their slow strokes. It was his turn for silence.
“Did I scare you?” she whispered against his neck.
Luke pinched her lightly. “Maybe a little.”
Harper sat up in his lap. “This is new for me. I don’t know if I like it.” She sounded so forlorn, Luke couldn’t help but smile.
“I suppose there are worse things.”
“Really? Because I can’t think of any right at this exact moment. This is really inconvenient.” She took a deep breath and sat up again. “Oh my God! What if I spend the rest of my life pining over the guy I met in Benevolence?”
Luke pinched her again. “Look, Harper —” he began.
“I didn’t tell you to hear you say it back. I know it’s not something that you feel for me and I don’t need to hear the reasons why. I just wanted you to know.”
“Harper, we should probably talk. But first, let’s find some clothes for you since I destroyed yours.”
They ate subs cross-legged on the floor of Luke’s office. Luke had scrounged up a Garrison Construction t-shirt and a pair of way-too-big gym shorts for Harper.
She waited until he had taken the last bite of his turkey and cheese. “So let’s talk.”
Luke took his time crumpling his napkin and tucking the trash back in his paper bag.
He took a deep breath. “A few years ago, I went through a rough patch. I lost some people close to me and it took me a long time to recover.”
“People in your unit?”
He nodded. “And someone at home shortly after.”
“Someone you were close to?”
“Yes.”
“I’m so sorry, Luke.” She put her hand on his knee. “It’s never easy to lose someone you care about, and it’s even worse when it’s more than one.”
He thought of a scared little seven-year-old without her parents and squeezed her hand.
“It was a dark time.”
“And that’s why your family —”
“Tortures me with their well-meaning, but overbearing attention?”
