“I’ve made a mess of things, haven’t I?” He sighed and squinted up at the thick December clouds. “I’m just not good at life without you. I don’t know what to do. Things were so much ... easier when you were here. Harper is not easy. She’s a walking disaster.”
Luke sighed. “I worry about her. She’s the kind of person who would offer a ride to a serial killer or open the door to a homicidal clown. She’s flighty and stubborn. When I was gone this summer, I had James mow the lawn because I was afraid she would chop off her foot with the riding mower.
“I don’t understand why I feel this pull to her. Why I want to be near her. Why I can’t wait to hear what she’s going to say next. She’s not you. And I love you. But I love her, too. And I don’t know if that’s okay.
“I don’t even know if it’s okay to talk to you about this. But you’re the smartest person I know and if anyone has the answer, it’s going to be you.”
Luke scrubbed his hands over his face. “Tell me what to do, Karen.”
“She would probably tell you to get your head out of your ass.”
Luke jumped at the voice and turned around.
Joni stood with her hands tucked into the pockets of her charcoal gray barn coat. Her cheeks flushed from the wind and the chill.
For years, it had been his fear that he would run into Joni at Karen’s grave. Confrontation on hallowed ground. There would be nothing to say to defend himself because he was guilty of everything she accused him of.
What would she say now with two women between them? The living and the dead.
“Oh, Luke,” she sighed, moving to stand next to him so they faced the stone together. “We’ve failed our girl in so many ways.”
“I didn’t mean to love Harper. I tried not to.”
“That’s not what I meant, dummy. Do you really think Karen would want you to live alone for the rest of your life?
“What are the odds, Luke, that Harper would end up here in Benevolence? There is no way this was a coincidence. She was meant for you. She needs you. To love her, to protect her, to be her family. And you need her.”
“I feel like I’m turning my back on Karen.”
“By being happy without her?”
Luke nodded and swallowed hard.
“That’s the greatest gift you could give her. It’s the only thing she would want from you, from me. Us living a life full of love and happiness and remembering how lucky we are to have known her. And I don’t know about you, but I’m tired of letting her down.”
“Do you think Karen would like Harper?”
“Who do you think sent her to you, Luke? Harper was picked out for you and delivered straight to you.”
He looked at his feet and blinked back the blur. “I miss her so much.”
Joni wrapped an arm around his waist. “Honey, Karen was once in a lifetime. We both know that. But guess what? So is Harper. Don’t turn your back on this gift.”
Luke wrapped her in a bear hug and they stood in silence for long minutes before Joni finally patted him on the back. “I’ll let you talk things over with our girl. But don’t wait too long. She’s leaving town Saturday.”
His heart stuttered. Benevolence without Harper?
He nodded and wiped at his face. “Thanks, Joni. For everything.”
She smiled. “You’re a good man, Luke. You’ll make the right choice.”
He hoped so. He watched her get in her car and drive off before kneeling down in the grass.
“Well, you heard your mom. So I’m depending on you to help me. Tell me what to do, Karen.”
The late afternoon sun broke through the heavy clouds. Its light warmed Luke’s face and chest.
He almost missed it. It was only there for a second, but a beam of sunlight fell and held exactly on the phoenix carving on the headstone.
