“Do you want to talk about it?” I ventured.
“Not really. He was chasing me and then tackled me. He held me down, yelling at me, and told me it was time for him to take what was his. Then you woke me up.” Her voice wavered.
“You’re safe here. I won’t let anything happen to you,” and I pulled her even closer and kissed the top of her hair. We sat in silence, and it didn’t take long for her breathing to even out. Before I knew it, she was asleep, curled up in my arms. I ran my eyes over her body and took stock of her in my clothes. I rather liked it. The rugby shorts showed enough of her thighs to allow me to see the large scar. Bennett’s words about him and Audra being trauma-bonded rang in my head, and I wondered if her scars were part of that. Whatever happened, it was significant. I took a calming breath, and since she was out, I settled in.
Icouldhave pried myself out of her grip and retreated tomy room. I could have, but I didn’t want to. And once she raised her leg to drape it over my thigh, I was stuck, but I didn’t mind. I drifted off to sleep thinking about how content I felt, contemplating what her hesitation was, and planning how I was going to win Audra King over.
31
AUDRA
Iwoke up by myself in bed. Did I dream Donovan came in that night? No, I couldn’t have; the pillow smelled like him. But it was his house. Presumably, everything smelled like him, right? I sat up in bed, and there was a note on my nightstand.
Hopefully, you slept well the rest of the night. I’ll either be in the pool, the kitchen, or getting ready for the day. Make yourself at home.
Was Donovan that great to everyone? Because how is this guy not married or at least dating someone? He is perfect. Or maybe he has a super weird flaw … like buying used underwear off the internet or something.Or I could stop being a freak and stop trying to find something wrong, I laughed to myself. I was so damn conflicted. He was everything I was looking for in a partner. It felt like we just belonged together. Like we were old lovers from a past life or something. Not that I was a bigbeliever in that kind of woo, but our connection seemed otherworldly.
But the fear from my past was debilitating. If I felt like that after a month and we weren’t even together, what would it be like months or years down the road when he needed to marry someone, and it wasn’t going to be me? I wouldn’t survive that again. And when’s it appropriate to bring something like that up? Certainly not that early on.So, guy, I have just started hanging around with … if you think we’re going to make it the long haul, would you consider marrying someone like me? No way. I had enough other craziness going on. I couldn’t imagine what I would sound like if I asked him that.
Since those questions were going unanswered, I hopped out of bed and tried to make myself look presentable to find him in this gigantic house.
Bad idea.
I shouldn’t have looked for him. Because I found him in the pool. He looked like a Greek God in the water, and I got to gawk without shame while he was swimming laps with his head down. His swimsuit looked like one of the European cut ones, not the Speedo, but the ones that are short, tight, and show off the goods. I knew I would see the outline of said ‘goods’ when he got out of the pool. Hell, I got a preview last night and felt evidence of it the last time we kissed.
Watching him glide through the water was mesmerizing. Every single muscle was on display. I never thought of myself as a back woman, but I’m pretty sure I had to wipe the drool off my mouth watching him flex as he moved effortlessly through the water. He looked flawless. Truly. If I thought a clothed Donovan was hot, a mostly naked one was positively sinful, and I was ready to be unholy.
Before I could exit the fantasy I was concocting in my head,he caught me staring at him. He hoisted himself up on the edge, folding his arms on the stone so his chest was out of the water. The ink I was so curious about the night before was on full display again. Even though I lay right on it, I didn’t actually process the tattoos in the midst of everything else happening. They were fucking hot, no surprise. It appeared to be travel-inspired designs mixed with abstract ones, and I wanted to trace them with my finger and hear the stories that inspired them. The design ran from his right peck up over his shoulder and down his arm until about his forearm. He smirked at me with those dimples, and I had to catch my breath.
“Good morning, Beautiful. What’s on your mind?” Did his voice sound sexier in the mornings? Yes. Yes, it sure did. Based on the way he was looking at me, he freaking knew what was on my mind. But also, he called me beautiful. What was this man going to do to me? He was going to wreck my freaking world.
I tried to lighten the mood by joking. “I know this is going to come as a surprise to you and all, but I wanted to find you to say thank you, again, for being amazing last night.”
“You’re thanking me? It was my pleasure to have you here last night, Audra.”
“Even when I was screaming in the middle of the night?”
“Eh, I’m looking at that as a preview of things to come,” and he winked at me with a knowing grin on his face.
Whaaaat?! My jaw dropped open, and all coherent thoughts left my brain as my face flushed. Asexual, my ass. A garbled sound I couldn’t control escaped my mouth. He chuckled because he knew exactly what he was doing. Then he sank back into the pool, only to shoot up and pull himself out effortlessly. For better or for worse, as I expected,I could see the outline of his dick, and he was every bit as endowed as I suspected he was. Jesus Christ, the man was perfect. My eyes followed the water droplets as they trickled down his washboard abs, the same ones my head had rested on the night before, until they disappeared beneath the black fabric of his suit. But I didn’t look away. Instead, I got caught red-handed, staring at the ridge just below his waistband. When I finally forced my gaze back to his, his smirk had deepened into something far more provocative. “So, you want to see Chaos?” he said as he dried himself off and threw his sweatshirt on.
“See?” I squeaked as I cocked my head.
“Yeah,” A devilish grin rested on his face. “The tour.”
“Yes,” my answer came out more breathy than I intended. I was still struggling to recover from the screaming comment, and I turned away from him before turning right back around. “And chaos?” I asked when I processed his words, “What’s that about? That feels a bit like mockery.”
“Oh, no, no, you’re looking at it the wrong way. You, Audra King, have brought incredible chaos to my carefully constructed life, and I’m not talking about anything to do with your ex, your broken car, or your choice of dart partners. Do you know what you do to me? People call me cold and reclusive, among other things. Have I ever been one of those with you?”
He held my gaze for a few beats longer as the corner of my mouth turned up. “Um, yes. Up until the last few months, I thought you literally didn’t like me.” I laughed. “But since the day you bought me flowers, you have been wonderful.”
“Even then, I knew there was something about you. That’s why I kept a distance. The chaos you make me feel…” He stopped and put his hand over his chest. I held my breath for him to continue, and my eyes lingered. “It’s a beautiful chaos that I’m not quite sure what to do with.”
I didn’t know how to respond to that. On the one hand, I completely understood what he was saying. My heart and mind have been in their own state of chaos since he thawed towards me, because they wanted very different things. Well, they wanted different things after I found out he lived on Stonemill.
“Come on, my Beautiful Chaos,” he continued, pulling me out of the thought. “I’ll show you my favorite part of the outside.” He pointed towards a small walking path, then put his hand on my back to guide me in that direction. Since I had been lusting hard about the man that was in front of me, I failed to notice how beautiful the rest of the outside was. It was just as gorgeous as the inside. He couldn’t have designed this because if he did, he was in the wrong profession. We came to an opening where there was hardscaping set up, and springtime plants had started to bloom. His smile turned prideful as he explained. “This”—he held his hand up—“is my butterfly garden.”
I looked at him with a tilted head. “Butterfly garden?” That was a disconnect. Donovan was an insanely sexy man who made gazillions of dollars a year, lived in a giant house, roasted marshmallows over lava, and who knows what else, and he was proud of a … butterfly garden? My brows furrowed.
