“Mother!” she cries, and nary a fragment of lightning illuminates the sky. Maybe this is it, the big moment I knew was inevitably coming. Candace Messenger has moved on to far more important things, and she’s allowing Rory and me to destroy one another in grand fashion.
“Oh my goodness.” She retches as she sticks her head out of the trunk, and all six of us jump back a notch.
Lexy points her way. “Do not puke on my brand-new heels, Messenger, or I will make you shit your pants all over again.”
“She didn’t shit her pants,” I say, yanking her out of the trunk. “Relax, Messenger. I’ve got clothes for you.” The stench of hours old urine hits me and I gag. “Laken, get the hose from the planter bed.”
“Chloe”—Laken makes wild eyes at me—“she’ll get pneumonia and die.”
“I won’t wet her hair. I’m just giving her tail a quick splash or we’ll die inhaling the fumes.”
Laken does as she’s told, while I help disrobe a very disoriented Rory and quickly hose her off.
Her cries are sublimely vitriolic and frightening straight down to the bone, and yet not a soul has come out from the Landon house to see if I’m all right. Good to know.
Lexy works with me to dress her, and soon enough, Rory is sporting a pair of black fishnet stockings, a sparkling pink tutu constructed with enough tulle to wrap around the Eiffel Tower twice, and a red leather bustier—something I dug up out of Chloe’s closet.
You’re welcome,Chloe snips.Now let’s get some action. I want to see men.
A thought comes to me. Rory likes men—a bit too much if you ask me.
Bree helps Rory step into a pair of clear plastic heels that light up pink and blue with every step.
“I’m so pretty!” Rory bounces on the balls of her feet. “Where are we going? I hope I get a pretty pink cake.”
“Oh, you’ll get a pretty pink something.” I smear a wicked grin. “We’re headed to Seattle.”
Chloe chuckles.Remember our little trip out that way? I believe it was for another rotten bachelorette party and we were both knocked up. You had to have two kids to my one. Always trying to one-up me, aren’t you, Skyla?
I grunt,I remember. That was a horrible night. The twins’ Fem powers kept misfiring, and I was hallucinating for the better half of the night.
Bree, Laken, Nat, Michelle, Lexy, Em, Rory, and I caravan our way to the pier then hop onto the ferry as we head for the mainland.
Logan made me promise to text him, via Laken’s phone, of course, and there are copious amounts ofplease tell Coop I love him, lest Rory decides to go psycho on poor Logan for cheating on her.
We finally hit Seattle before we Uber our way to our first destination of the night, a strip club I researched while I was whittling away my time at Marshall’s this afternoon—Timberland Beavers. Their tagline isthe place to get good wood.
“Hey!” Nat barks as soon as she sees the cartoon silhouette of a woman. “We’re at the wrong place.” She whips out her phone in an effort to rectify the situation, and I carefully cover my hand over the screen.
“We’re in the right place,” I snip. “I thought we’d show Messenger arealgood time.”
Nat, Lexy, Em, Michelle, Bree, and even Laken look as if they want to slaughter me.
Rory is up ahead looking at her reflection in the mirrored window as she fluffs up her pink tutu and tap-dances in those light-up shoes Bree stuffed her—my—feet into.
Laken ticks her head to the side. “Remember, this is my one night away from the kids. I really don’t want to watch a bunch of naked women dancing.”
I twist my lips. “I’m sorry, but I want to make sure Ro—Messenger has a real crappy time. It’s not fair she’s always getting what she wants. And don’t any of you feel sorry for her either. She’s marrying Logan Oliver, for Pete’s sake. She’ll have more wood than she knows what to do with for the rest of her life. The man is essentially a god. She’s a spoiled little princess, and this is my—ourharmless way of taking her down a notch. Just for the night.”
Em grunts, “I don’t know. She did free my brother from a fate worse than death.”
Something warms in me to hear her finally admit it. The Viden youth belong to me now—to Celestra. It’s nice to know Em regards me for that.
Nat shakes her head. “Skyla gave me extra time with Pierce—and Kate. I can never forget that.”
Chloe groans.Remind the ditz that you hacked the girl’s head off to begin with.
“Yes, well, she killed Kate. It was a blatant homicide, we all know that.” Kate was our old friend way back when—and yes, I did accidentally chop her head off with my skis. “And if the judicial system isn’t going to make her pay for her sins, I say we step in and give her a night of penitentiary-worthy hell.”
