Leave it to me to reduce a man to a muttering fool before we do the dirty deed—and not in any good way.
“Ah”—he strides across the room and turns his back toward the candles—“not going to work.” He picks up the stick lighter he used to ignite the night with. He carries it to me, walking backwards as he hands me the device that’s about the size of a ruler. “Take it from me.”
“What?” I shriek as my fingers grasp onto it. “What do you want me to do?”
“I want you to light the tie between my wrists. It’s silk. It should melt like butter, and I’ll pull my arms apart before it can do any damage. I’ll be fine, I promise.”
“Are you crazy? What kind of an Incredible Hulk move is that? What if I accidentally set your back on fire? What if the flames dipsouth? Shep,pleasedon’t make me set you on fire and watch you burn. That is not how this night is supposed to end.” There’s a slight whine to my voice, to which I’m usually abhorrent, but in this case the circumstances totally call for it.
He looks at me from over his shoulder, and those vexing blue eyes look a little more than miffed. “I’m pretty sure it’s not supposed to end with the two of us a little too tied up to pay attention to one another.”
“Duly noted,” I huff, indignant at the knotty mess I’ve landed us in. I move the lighter into position and begin clicking the trigger until a flame bursts forth like a blowtorch. “Gee—I don’t see anything at all that can go wrong with this scenario.”
“We’ll laugh later. Do it on three.”
“Three!” My voice pitches to the ceiling as the fabric ignites, and in less than a second the entire tie is in flames. “OH MY GOD!” I howl so loud my ears spasm.
Shep roars as he struggles and hops around the room haphazardly.
“ROLL ONTO THE FLOOR!” I holler until my vocal cords cut out. “Duck and cover! Duck and cover!” I scream at the top of my lungs and, my God, it doesn’t even make sense. “Shep! Shepheeeeerd!” I cry out with all of my might, pulling on my own restraints, just begging them to give an inch, but my hands have gone numb and I’m pretty sure they’re blue or black or whichever color they turn just before they spontaneously fall off. I swear, this entire night is playing out as if Lex had cast a pox on the two of us. I wouldn’t put it past her.
“Fuck!” Shep barks as he hooks his fiery wrists over the doorknob and dives forward. A horrible cracking sound rips through the room as the door comes off its hinges, wood splintering from top to bottom. And it looks as if Shep’s hands are free as he struggles to stomp out the flames over the hardwood floor. “Shit,” he seethes, leaning against the wall, stark naked, and, crap on a crap cracker—is that blood dripping from his arms?
“You’re bleeding!”
He glances up at me without moving his head, and all I see in this dim light are the whites of his eyes. He looks angry, downright pissed, and the way the candlelight flickers against his features, he looks downright sexy as well. Shep has always been too damn hot for his britches. I suppose it’s a good thing he’s not wearing any at the moment. The last thing we need is his pants on fire.
He gets up, and in less than ten seconds, my hands are free. “You’re hurt.” He pulls them forward and lands a soft kiss to each.
“Forget about me. Please run your hands under cold water. Let’s get dressed and get you to the emergency room. Did you burn your bottom?” I wince, biting down on my lower lip until I can taste blood. Who knew the night I lose my virginity would start off with a sexual appetizer of blood and gore? I should have figured. This is me we’re talking about. And to think the night is still young—and, apparently, dangerous.
He examines his hands for a moment and shakes his head. “It’s about as bad as a sunburn. I’ll live.” He brushes the hair off my face a moment. “I’m sorry things have gone sideways.”
“That’s putting it mildly.”
“Hang on a second. I think I’d better clean up.” He wiggles his fingers. “And bring us back something to calm our nerves. He takes off, and I can’t help but note he did so in the buff. I hope those living room curtains are drawn or else his neighbors are going to get an eyeful. Damn lucky neighbors, too.
I crawl under the covers, only to be greeted with more pink petals, and I bask in the lavish feel against my skin. Despite everything that’s gone woefully wrong, there are a lot of things right with this scenario. Rose petals? Check. A plethora of candles? Check. Hotter than a silk tie on fire Shepherd Collins, naked in the next room? Triple-gasm check. It’s going to be fine. Tonight isn’t ending in some horrific catastrophe. It’s going to have a very, very happy ending for both Shep and me.
The explosive sound of glass breaking comes from the kitchen, followed by a roar.
“Gah!” I cry out in a fury. “Is everything all right?” It was sort of an obligatory question that I really didn’t need to ask.
“It’s fine. I’ve got it all under control. Nobody walk barefoot in the kitchen for the next week.”
“Shep? You’re barefoot!”
He lets out a riotous yelp. “Thank you for pointing that out.”
“That’s it. This night isdoomed. It’s ending in flames and broken glass and most likely a meteor that’s bound to crash through the ceiling.”
“Not true,” he says as he comes through the door with a tray in his slightly swollen hands. Two champagne flutes stand erect, filled to the brim with bubbly, along with a plate full of donuts and a pot of—
“Ooh, is that honey?”
“Hothoney,” he corrects. “I knocked over the bourbon while I was heating it.”
“Great. I guess we can cross bourbon off the list.”
