“Keep your eyes to yourself,” I say as I dig out a pair of helmets for the both of us. Annie squeezes hers over the top of her head, and my boner starts ticking to life. “Sheisa looker.”
Annie and I get on the bike. She shows me a pair of earplugs before lifting her helmet and putting them in. I love that she needs them. Nothing pleases me more.
I start her up, and the beast roars to life beneath us. My eyes close a moment. This, right here, is what Benji did last.
“Where we headed?” Annie shouts.
“I know just the place.” I rev the engine, and we take off.
We tear up concrete all the way there.
The lookout ismagnificent this crisp winter morning. The snow is still piled high in the shade, but it’s the sun and its radiance that steals the show.
“So beautiful,” I say holding Annie. “And I mean you.” I press a kiss to her lips.
“How was it?” She nods toward the bike.
“Freedom. It was freedom.” I brush my lips over hers. “Thank you for giving me that.” I close my eyes a moment too long and see an image of Benji cussing me out as he left our apartment that last day. I haven’t talked to anyone about that moment—what really transpired, what I said that sent him flying out the door in a rage. “The afternoon my brother died—the last thing that happened between the two of us was a knock down, drag out fight.” I grimace. “He got a couple good punches in, but it was the words that hurt the most.”
“I’m so sorry.” Her face grows pale. “Can I ask what happened?”
I swallow hard. “It was about Olivia. She was getting ready to leave my brother. She couldn’t care less that she was carrying his child—any child for that matter. I caught her with another guy the night before at a bar. Her mouth was all over his, and it killed me to know she was doing that stuff to Ben while carrying his kid.” I take a breath and let the words fly around me like prisoners that finally had the balls to escape.
“That’s terrible. You did the right thing in letting him know.”
“I should have waited. He thought maybe I was gunning to get her back—believe me, that was the furthest from the truth.”
“Do you remember the last thing you said to one another?” She winces.
“He told me to stay the fuck out of his life, and I told him no problem. He took off, leaving his helmet behind. The rest is—the end of our story.”
“That’s not true. You’re raising Ben. The story between you and your brother continues through that little boy. You’re making everything right. You already have.”
Her words settle over my heart like a warm song. Annie is crushing the granite that my heart turned into and, slowly, ever so slowly I’m starting to accept the fact that maybe she’s right. That perhaps I did the right thing—it just so happens that life took a shitty turn. That helmet of his jumps through my mind like a bouncing ball.
“He didn’t wear his helmet half the time, and I was usually the one who insisted. I didn’t bother insisting that day he left.”
“Blake.” She closes her eyes, and a thin seam of tears glistens in the sun. “You didn’t do this to him—don’t do this to yourself. Benji would never want you blaming yourself for the rest of your life. You don’t ever have to forget him, and the best way to honor him is by remembering the good times that you shared together. Find joy in baby Ben’s smile. Make Ben your biggest priority. That, right there, would make your brother proud and happy, and I’m sure his heart would be filled with forgiveness as well.”
A violent wind knocks us off balance before it stills to a whisper.
“That was him.” I give a wry smile. “Whenever we’d make up, he’d end it with a nice firm shove.” My chest rumbles with a laugh. “I know this sounds crazy, but I think my brother just agreed with you.”
“It doesn’t sound crazy at all. Because I know when I’m right.”
Annie slips her hands into the back of my jeans, bypassing my boxers all together.
“Whoa,” I pull back. “You’re about to start a war, little girl.”
“I’m not anybody’s little girl.” She grazes her teeth over her blood red lips as if proving a point.
I’m still feeling pretty lucky for bumping into her that day. If Benji hadn’t passed, I wouldn’t have been dropping my classes, and that’s one fucked up way of thinking, so I shelve it.
“I’m up for finishing what I started.” Her belly rubs over the blooming hard-on in my jeans. Her fingers quickly undo my button, before I know it my fly is down, and she has my cock in her hand.
“You’re exposing me to the elements. It’s pretty chilly out here.” I dig my fingers through the back of her hair. I do a quick sweep of the vicinity, and there’s not a soul around.
“Maybe I’d better keep it warm.” Annie drops to her knees and wraps her lips over me before I can protest the idea, not sure I would. A hard groan comes from me as I dig my fingers through her hair. Her tongue laps around me as her hand cups my balls, and it doesn’t take long for me to feel like I’m going lose it faster than ever. Before Annie, I went through girls as fast as I could get through a box of condoms, and now I can’t see any other girl—all I see is Annie.
