“I’m more sure of that than I am about my next breath. Just answer one question for me.”
“Anything.” His lids hang low, his lips still swollen from my harsh assault.
“Do you think you can be there for me no matter what?” There. It’s as vulnerable a question as any that have ever left my lips. It’s the crux of all the questions I have ever had for Caleb and was too afraid to ask. Caleb, who promised he’d be back for me one day. Caleb who is anxious as hell to land me in his bed. Caleb with his dirty, dirty mouth, his naughty list of promises he plans to deliver.
His features soften, his mouth falls open, no words.
“Kennedy”—he whispers, brushing my cheek softly, leaving a fiery trail in his wake—“no matter what, I will always be there for you. I came back, and I will never desert you. I will never leave you. I will never choose another living soul over your precious being.”
That’s all I needed to hear.
I’m his.
I’ve been just that since the beginning.
The moon castsits spotlight over us from that stretch between the circus tents and the Nicholson’s old cabin. I pull him just shy of the porch and kiss him hard once again like an abuse, a domestic assault. For a second I think of having him right here. Letting him push me up against the smooth trunk of this silver dollar tree hauled in by landscapers because the evergreen that once stood here wasn’t good enough for the Nicholsons. They always did think they were better than everyone else. They always believed people were watching them—taking note on how to do it right. Speaking of which.
I pull back, panting into him like we just finished a sparring session.
Caleb is slightly bent at the knee, bringing him down to my height. For Keith I would have to stand on my tiptoes, and here Caleb makes concessions for me. I pull him upstairs, and he hastily lets us in, slamming the door shut like a clap of thunder.
I push his jacket off, tear at his shirt while he gropes for the zipper. It’s an odd dance, the disrobing of two first time lovers. It’s jagged, and passionate, mostly it’s a full workout, struggling with the unexpected layers—the missile launching of shoes. Caleb’s pants stray around his hips while I reach into his boxers and pull him out, hard and ready, so thick and heavy in my hand, I take in a quick breath.
“Wow,” I say under my breath without meaning to. Just letting him know how impressed I am feels as though I’ve given away all of my power. Who am I kidding? Caleb McCarthy stripped me of my power a very long time ago. They say never rely on someone else for your happiness, but I did exactly that, and, right about now, I’m not too sorry.
He pulls my dress over my head and lazily, achingly slow reaches back to unhook my bra—his eyes pinned to mine as if he were motivated by a dare. The moon kisses his features as the curve of a smile takes over his face. He frees the girls and tosses their lace pen to the side as his mouth finds a home over the softest part of me. I pull him in close by the back of the neck, smothering him, feeling him smother me, and let out a ragged groan.
“Caleb.” A burst of relief comes when I say his name. For years it’s been brewing inside me, bubbling up to the surface without my permission. So many times when I was with Keith it wanted to jump out of me. I’ve held it down, drowned it, tried to forget it as the game just became too hard, but tonight I get to shout it to the stars. Tonight his name will roll freely from my tongue, and it feels like a hard won victory.
An urgency builds in me, so hostile, that I can’t wait another minute to have him inside my body. I jump up on his hips and guide him to the wetness that’s been waiting for him for so very long.
“I’m on the pill,” I whisper hard in his ear—not a lie—as I plunge down over him, his body stretching me, claiming me, as I’ve waited for him to do for the last few years. “Yes,” I hiss, pressing my head to his chest and just soaking in the feel of Caleb deep inside me. It feels like a pleasure, a treasure, a goal I have worked my whole life to achieve.
Caleb slams me against the door and thrusts his lust into me, over me, against me like a riot, like a heartfelt flood of emotion that has finally crested the dam of our own making.
All of the time—the distance, that once separated us had dissolved, and, on this magical October night, we are finally inseparable, we are finally one.
My body drums against the door like a violent, angry knock in the night as Caleb most certainly shows me how a real man fucks.
There’s one thing crossed off that list.
Caleb
The night steals many things, color, shapes, the dexterity of thoughts you might have otherwise had under the sun—some say it has the power to steal your soul. Long before I made the decision to leave South Lux, I had entered into one very dark night. I left a mess behind as I trailed toward Loveless, toward Kennedy one final time. I left my mother to her own unstable devices, my father to his special brand of self-hatred, my brother, Abel, to his self-righteousness, and Solomon to rot in a cell. In effect, my life had become one long, horrible night, and I had lost my soul somewhere between there and here. But the real reason I came, the real reason I put down roots, signed up for a position in my uncle’s law firm was for this girl, right here. And, at the end of the day, I would very much admit that, yes, Kennedy Slade was worth losing my dirty, stained soul over.
My lips glide over her cheek, until I bury them in the hollow of her ear.
“This is where you belong, wrapped around my body.”
A tiny moan emits from her throat as I continue to pound my existence deep inside her. Kennedy is tight, virginal tight, and my mind wanders on the outskirts trying to qualify this. Her head knocks into the door creating a horrible hammering rhythm, so I spin her, backing her against the table by the entry. I lay her down and pull her thighs to my ears, burying my tongue where my dick was just a moment ago. I lap her up and down, fighting not to come from the effort. I’ve dreamed this fantasy scenario so often that my mind is questioning reality. She leans up and curls her fingers in my hair, giving a series of hard tugs. My mouth riots over her like I was putting out a fire with my tongue, and I am, or starting one, both maybe. She slides her body down and lands heroically over me once again, impaling herself over my cock with a marked precision, and we both give the beginnings of a laugh. I move her to the sofa, our hips still conjoined as I thrash my body recklessly into hers as if she could take it, as if she should.
“Caleb.” She grunts my name out, in broken spastic pieces. “Yes, that.” Her chest pumps hard over mine. “Fuck!”
I’ve never heard a girl belt out that word in bed before, but technically we’re not in bed, and Kennedy Slade is no mere girl, she’s all woman. I’ve known that from the beginning.
“I want you there first.” I pull out and fall to my knees, my tongue trekking back to that sweet wet zone, knifing her to the brink of her own climax until she’s pulling my hair and gasping beneath me. It takes less than I imagine to bring her to the height I’ve wanted to take her to since that first day in the marsh.
Kennedy lets out a sharp cry. Her knees go into a power lock position around my skull letting me know she’s already there. But I won’t stop until I get a full eviction. Her hands flatten over my face as she gives a firm shove, and I land back over her, my body spearing inside her once again as I bury myself in my new warm home. I study her face a moment, that glazed, drugged look in her eyes, her mouth opening and closing as if she can’t find the words.
